What Are The Three Things Women Love In Bed?

What do women want? A question that’s as cryptic as its answer. For centuries, we have been trying to figure out women. There are tons of sexist jokes about what women want. Whether it's Kareena Kapoor Khan trying to start a conversation on this or comedians on television throwing sexist shades on how confused women are, in the name of humour, the world is clueless. But, are women clueless? Do women know what they want?

A subset of what women want is what women love in bed. Sex and sexuality are two things denied to women, by their gender. It's a Laxman Rekha they can’t cross if they want to be “married in a respected household.” But, no more of that bullshit. Our women know what they love in bed. They can be kinky. They can be vanilla. They can love chocolate. They can love strawberries. They can take bold care of their bodies. 

Echoing these sentiments is Dr. Martha Tara Lee, a relationship counsellor and clinical sexologist who based on her personal and professional experience is here to talk to us about some things that women love in bed. 

1. Soft and Slow

Women, in general, like seduction, foreplay, and sex soft and slow. They love the build-up. They love the teasing in the forbidden place. 

But, wait, they don’t like it slow all along. It can change based on arousal. 

2. Sensuous and Consistent

Men can get hard and masturbate just at the sight of a naked boobie. Sorry folks, we aren’t that aroused at the sight of your penis, so you gotta do more. 

Women, according to Dr. Lee like it sensuous and the drama but it has to be consistent. It needs to start slow and sensuously and be consistent. Unlike men, who go all guns blazing, harder and harder and harder, it ain’t gonna work like that here.

Sensuality is very important to women. At the same time, most of the women are drawn based on the taste, the smell, the ambience, and the cleanliness among other things. We can love dirty sex, but not dirty bed. 

3. The path to clitorises is non-linear

Firstly, clits and penises aren’t the same. Yours is visible, mine requires effort. The path to my clit is not a straight line. As Dr. Lee says men tend to be like, “Let’s get hot”, “let’s get going”, “get more stimulated”, “let’s go to the peak” etc. This is how they masturbate but not how we do. 

What’s irking is when men do the bare minimum and are like, “Are you coming? Are you there?” No, I am not even here, let alone there. What I want is in the words of Dr. Lee, “We want it to be different. We like to have a touch here, touch there.” 

Be naughty, tease me. Don’t be abrasive, be indirect with your touch. Don’t go around directly to my vagina. Well, these were the thoughts of Dr. Lee. Just so you know, the world has been asking the wrong question all along. It's not what women want, but rather what you want. Women is not a homogenous concept, it's a gender that's performative, as Judith Butler would argue. 

So, think about the general statements made by Dr. Lee. If you want this, so be it. Claim it. If you don't, find your touch with a trembling tease. 

Disclaimer: It’s general, not universal. You can be as kinky as you want. As I said, the path to your clit is not straight, so go be gay about your preferences.