Pleasure Is A Basic Desire, But Women Still Carry Guilt: Shobhaa Dé

A basic human desire, pleasure is often considered shameful when it comes to women; however, slowly but surely times are changing and so is society.

A lot of women are now finding their voice and openly talking about what pleasure means to them, their sexual desires and proudly owning their sexuality. In this conversation with SheThePeople, novelist and columnist Shobhaa Dé discusses how pleasure for women is still a stigma and more. 

The Idea Of Pleasure

When asked about how her book explores the idea of pleasure and how, when it comes to women, there's a lot of guilt associated with it, Dé explains, "Women feel they should articulate such emotion because there's so much guilt associated with pleasure. But pleasure is a very, very basic human desire, and it's also the ultimate luxury." 

Defining pleasure, she says, "If I'm able to enjoy something with the fullness of my palate, with my heart soaring, and I feel free to do it, that's a pleasure."

"For most women, though, everything has a component that makes you think of how limited their lives can be because people deny them something as basic as pleasure, be it physical, emotional, or aesthetic. It's the mindset that a lot of women need to feel self-respect. That pleasure is not something that is guilt-inducing," Dé explained.

Sexual Desires And The Stigma Around It

Starting a conversation around sexual pleasures for women, Dé explained that women are dying to share their stories, even of their abuse. "The taboo around sex and the conversation around it don't exist anymore," she says.

"Women are now in fact seeking alternative ways of pleasure, which is opening up a whole new world where women are more experimental and at ease talking about having multiple partners. Women are so comfortable in their sexuality today," Dé said, talking about the pleasures of the body for a lady.

How Women Are Embracing Pleasure 

Talking about how pleasure, be it in any form, if it does not come with a sense of happiness, is dead, the novelist says, "You see how women who want to talk and stake claim to sexual pleasure are judged. Most of us, therefore, keep denying ourselves something as basic as pleasure. The conversations around sex are almost deafening. There's so much more to it. Women want to express their sexual feelings and talk about their sexual adventures," Dé said when asked about how it's high time women should be allowed to feel their true, innermost feelings of desire.

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