Why We Need To Shift Our Conversations From Women's Weight

Actor Mona Singh recently brought attention to a prevalent issue among women: the incessant discussion of weight. She emphasised the urgency of shifting the focus towards more meaningful conversations, advocating for body positivity and self-acceptance. Singh highlighted the need to break free from societal norms that perpetuate unrealistic standards of an ideal body and promote fostering a culture of acceptance and self-love.

Singh expressed her frustration, stating, "Our mentality has become like this: whenever we meet someone after a long time, the only thing we discuss is weight. ‘Oh, you have lost weight; oh, you have put on weight.’ What is this conversation? They are so superficial. What is happening in your life? What are you doing? Have you tried anything new? Have you travelled somewhere? Those are the conversations to have."

She also emphasised the need to shift the focus away from superficial topics like weight and redirect it towards more meaningful discussions. She remarked, "As women, we go through so many internal changes. There are days I am not feeling good, there are days I am feeling bloated, and I am not feeling so confident about myself, but I carry on with my life. I don’t remind myself all day. Oh sh*t, it’s a bad day. I don't do it. I accept it gracefully. It is my body. It will keep changing over time."

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Confident women proudly acknowledge the beauty of their bodies, regardless of their size, weight, or shape. They draw strength, trust, and influence from this self-assurance, empowering themselves and inspiring others to do the same. Like Mona Singh, we spoke to numerous women who have confronted body-related remarks, they delved into the pressing need to shift the conversation away from weight.

Why We Need To Stop Discussing Our Weight

Shatakshi, a 23-year-old law student, shared her personal experience, highlighting how discussions about weight, intended to make someone feel accepted or good, can inadvertently fuel self-doubt and validate negative perceptions.

She said, "Especially in women like me who are considered" fat " or "overweight," people, including my closest friends, associate my personal "growth" with my fitness. They might not intend to pull me down but compliment me to motivate me that my hard work on my body is evident even though I would not be working at all. Which might sometimes throw me into more self-doubts that my friends might just be commenting on my body weight for the sake of "making me feel better." And despite their good intentions, I sometimes feel low and distanced from the whole meet-up further when it starts with noticing body changes in each other, which makes me nervous for my next meet-ups, which might be with other people as well." 

Ruchika, a 24-year-old fashion student, acknowledges the complexities that come with being skinny, drawing from her own experiences. She said, "Sometimes I am too "perfect," like a "zero figure," while oftentimes I am "too slim to be sexy" and "men prefer curves. I hate the fact that the first time someone sees me, they notice nothing but my body, not even my makeup! And in the past, when I was losing weight, I remembered not going in front of people, fearing their comments, and wearing full-sleeved loose fits."

She added, "I don't think anyone must go through that, and it will stop only when we stop talking about the bodies without being asked about it, at least not the first thing as soon as we meet."

Ishita, a 23-year-old psychology graduate, highlights the tendency among women to seek validation from others regarding their weight, leading to discussions centred around this topic. She suggests that instead of seeking external validation, women should focus on accepting themselves as they are.

Here’s what she said: "I notice even if my friends don't straight away throw comments on my body, I ask them, Do I not look different? Which I realise is wrong. That's me just seeking validation about whether my body changes are evident, and my self-esteem would depend on their answers to what they notice in me. I believe I am going to ask my girls to not answer me next time, even if I throw this silly question at me."

Acknowledging that addressing this long standing issue requires time and effort to rewire our thought patterns, Sonali Dhiman remarked, "I agree that as women, we often focus too much on our weight. Even when I don't want to talk about weight, I find myself commenting on myself or others. To break this habit, I remind myself that my body is going through a lot because of PCOS, and I should love myself without worrying about my weight. Nowadays, when people comment on my weight, whether it's a gain or loss, I respond with something positive to protect my inner peace. respond with positivity to safeguard my inner peace."

Society is always obsessed with the idea of having the "perfect body." But it's time to break free from this obsession and focus on more important things. The shift will occur when we women embrace ourselves fully and exude confidence from within.

Views expressed by the author are their own