I'll Forever Rest In Peace: US Veteran Comes Out As Gay In His Obituary

A US military veteran who went on to serve as a firefighter and owned a local radio station revealed in his obituary that he was gay, a secret he said he held his entire life. Col. Edward Thomas Ryan died at age 85 on June 1, the first day of Pride Month, his niece Linda Sargent told Good Morning America.

Col. Edward Thomas Ryan, who is said to have lived most of his life in Rennselaer, New York, was a brother, uncle, retired firefighter and Army veteran. The obituary was published by the Albany Times Union on June 8, 2024, ended with a message written by Ryan himself.

"I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life." Ryan wrote that he was in a relationship with a man from North Greenbush, New York whom he referred to as the "love of my life." 

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The duo stayed together for 25 years until 1994 when Ryan's partner died "from a medical procedure gone wrong". In the obituary, Ryan said that he would be buried next to his partner. 

Afraid of ostracization: Ryan wrote in his obituary

Ryan further added the reason why he couldn't tell the truth about his sexuality when he was alive. He said, "I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by family, friends, and co-workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace."

Sargent said her uncle, whom she called Uncle Ed and whom she cared for in his final years, spoke with her about the message he wanted to share after his passing.

"I said, 'Uncle Ed, if that's what you want to tell the world, tell the world that you're gay. Don't be ashamed of it,'" Sargent recalled. "He was a great man, and I'm just so sorry that he had to hide who he was."

People extended support

Many people extended support for the late veteran in the obituary’s comments section. One person wrote, "May you rest peacefully in the arms of your forever love. I’m so sorry that you never felt safe to be your authentic self."  Another wrote, "A fine American. A life of service that continues with his final wishes to share his truth so others may learn of love."

Yet another commented, "Sir, I am so sorry that you had to live a life in secret. No one should ever have to wait until death to be happy. May your soul and spirit live on in happiness with your true love. Humanity can be so unkind to the kindest individuals. May you and your soulmate continue your love without judgment and boundaries."