Explained: Ballerina Farm And The Trad Wife Controversy

Hannah Neeleman, the popular TikToker behind the Ballerina Farm social media accounts, has found herself at the centre of an online debate following a controversial article published in the Times of London. The piece criticized the “trad wife” influencer trend, portraying Neeleman as a victim of her circumstances. In response, Neeleman has taken to her platform to defend her lifestyle, asserting that her choices have led to a fulfilling and rewarding life.

Responding to Criticism: Neeleman Shares Her Perspective

In an update to the Ballerina Farm website’s “about me” page, Neeleman addressed the contentious article, which suggested she was coerced by her wealthy husband into abandoning her dream of becoming a New York City dancer. She described her decision to marry quickly and shift from ballet to farming as the "best decision I ever made." Neeleman emphasized that her social media presence is a genuine reflection of her life, which she finds "beautiful" and "rewarding."

The Controversial Article and Its Aftermath

The controversy began when Times reporter Megan Agnew visited the Neeleman family in Utah and published an expose that painted a bleak picture of Neeleman's life. Agnew claimed it was difficult to interview Neeleman without her husband’s interference, noted the lack of childcare help due to her husband’s preferences, and highlighted instances where Neeleman was bedridden from exhaustion. The article portrayed her as a victim of a misogynistic family structure influenced by the Mormon church, suggesting her marriage and children derailed her ballet aspirations.

Public and Media Reactions

Following the article's publication, an online debate erupted. Critics argued that women like Neeleman, living as “traditional wives” or “trad wives,” are victims of the patriarchy with limited choices. Others countered that choosing a traditional lifestyle does not imply oppression, and attacking these choices is detrimental to feminism. The discussion eventually turned against Agnew and the Times, with accusations of a biased, predetermined narrative against Neeleman’s lifestyle.

Neeleman's Defense And Clarification

In a video posted on her Ballerina Farm account, Neeleman expressed her disappointment with the article, stating it unfairly depicted her marriage and family life. She felt the interview was twisted to fit an agenda, asserting that her life choices are fulfilling and voluntary. Neeleman reiterated that she loves being a mother, wife, businesswoman, and farmer, living a life true to her values and beliefs.

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A post shared by Hannah @Ballerina Farm (@ballerinafarm)

The Broader "Trad Wife" Trend

The Ballerina Farm controversy has also brought attention to the larger "trad wife" trend on TikTok. Influencers like Neeleman, Nara Smith, and Estee Williams showcase traditional gender roles, focusing on child-rearing, homemaking, and cooking from scratch. Critics like Agnew argue that this trend undermines feminist progress, while supporters claim true feminism allows women to choose their paths, whether traditional or modern.

The debate over Hannah Neeleman and the "trad wife" influencer trend highlights the complexities of modern feminism and the diverse ways women choose to live their lives. Modern and intersectional feminism advocates for women's agency, recognizing and respecting choices whether they involve traditional homemaking or unconventional paths.

As Neeleman continues to defend her choices and share her story, the discussion around traditional gender roles and personal agency remains a poignant topic in contemporary society, emphasizing that true feminism is about empowering women to decide their own lives.