Why Does Society Expect Young Women To Be 'Humble'?

'Hadd mein raho, ladki ho.' A lot of young women are subjected to this, and other chidings, when they begin finding a voice of their own. In a country like India that prizes its tradition of obeisance to authority by way of seniority by age, this is an especially common occurrence, women will tell you. On the hierarchy of who is expected and entitled to have individuality, women rank near the lowest rungs.

A woman's adolescent, teen and youth ages are ripe years to shape her into a product of patriarchy's liking. She is impressionable, coming of age, making perceptions about the world - the mud is wet to be moulded into a desirable, conformist, conventional figure. Unfortunately, this period in a woman's life is also when she begins to find an identity.

Hence, a clash arises. So many desires of freedom are crushed everyday when women are compelled to give into oppressive diktats pronounced by society and family telling her how to behave, what to wear, where to go, what to do as a 'good Indian naari.' Because does everyone have the privilege to rebel? Couldn't asking for your rights cost some women their safety?

So they are humbled into silence.

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But it is a feature of modern social media-fuelled generations that unfair control will always be held accountable and protested against. Legions of feisty young women today are standing up and saying they are done with the outdated cultural decree of sharam being aurat ka gehna. 

The youth is realising how games of gender oppression have been played on the sexist requisite of women's dignity.

When a woman says #MeToo, she is the one put to blame. The horrific Shahdara assault incident from Delhi in which a survivor was shamed publicly is fresh proof. When a neighbour calls her 'loose,' 'characterless' or by another limiting label, she is claimed to let down her family's honour. When a woman calls for social justice on the internet, she is heavily trolled for having an opinion.

Through mainstreaming fear of being ostracised if they dare to do different from what they are expected to as wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, friends or even accounts on the internet, women have been kept in line for ages together. For how much longer though?

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In a time when the fervour and need to move towards an equal society is peaking, many young women are shedding the shame imposed on them. They are not afraid of being 'fast' anymore - a common tag for women who are perceived to be oversmart, i.e., rightfully opinionated and headstrong.

Why must we bend down and touch the feet of a relative who has harassed us? Why must we stay silent in the face of abuse and gender prejudice? Why must we 'take in our stride' the open discrimination prevalent in workplaces, homes, colleges, schools, social media? Why must we bend over to elders who do not believe in mutual respect? Why must we regard an oppressor on the baseless basis that they were born before we were?

Should women's rights be curtailed if men are not decent enough to ensure their &t=1056s">toxic masculinity does not stalk our safety on the streets? Who needs to be kept behind doors, the predators or the targets? Instead of policing women, shouldn't society focus on raising its sons better?

These are some valid questions young women today are raising. With resources of the digital age and a global sisterhood, the youth is rising up to claim the equality that has been denied to generations of mothers and grandmothers. If that takes staking our humility, so be it.

Views expressed are the author's own.