Taller, Bigger, Older Than Your Partners? Women, You Don't Need To Feel Guilty

It is ironic that women taller than men are often looked down upon. How distasteful of them for daring to have a few extra inches over their husbands or boyfriends! And so is the criticism for women who are bigger, thicker, older, smarter than their partners. The sexist standards society holds us all up to are designed to burden us with guilt every time that women - advertently or inadvertently - step outside those prescriptions.

Anatomy, as a measure to define individual worth, is powered by batteries that draw from the &t=1056s">male ego. So what if a woman has a body larger or fitter than her partner? Or if she is academically more qualified or earns more than him? Why should that create a disbalance of quality in a relationship? Is it fair that women are trolled, derided and pulled down if they don't fit within the prototypical outline of how a woman in a relationship is supposed to be?

Is society so fearful of women embracing their differences with confidence that it will shame them in a bid to "restore" dominance back to the man in the relationship? 

The culture is so ingrained that women themselves turn conscious when they don't fit society's definitions of the 'ideal' female partner. For the sake of their partners or for evading bullies, they take steps to play their own selves down. Many tall women ditch heels when walking with their boyfriends. Others let their partners contribute a larger share in expenditures so they can feel 'man enough'. Several drop weights in the gym to opt for workouts that will give their bodies a more 'feminine' shape.

That's not weak. It's a sign that patriarchy's conditioning has been so insistent and brutal that women hardly have a choice but to bend down to it. It has habituated us into mollycoddling men for what they themselves see as shortcomings (even when they are not).

Women Taller Than Men Or Richer Than Them: Why Is That An Ego Issue?

A sludge of this stereotypical judgment was hurled at actor Priyanka Chopra when she married Nick Jonas. Then 36, she was globally renowned after Quantico and had made her mark across other verticals in the arts and entertainment industry. Jonas' fame was largely limited to the music industry in the West. She was also older in age, her skin darker and body bigger than Jonas. On most occasions, she was also taller than him, which Popsugar confirms is only an "illusion," thanks to heels.

Chopra transgressed every rule in the 'good woman' book by marrying the man she did.

How did moralists react? They abused her, attacked her with racism and accused her of being with Jonas for a green card. This is the plight of so many. Women older than their partners are labelled cougars. Those taller are labelled 'manly.' Similarly, others breaking the mould have an entire Thesaurus' worth of descriptors waiting to be thrown at them.

Dare you be different? It's time women wear their crowns of self-esteem high on their heads. 

As far as possible, women should try to stop feeling guilty about being themselves. There is no reason they should change themselves, only to save the face or grace of their partners before society. If the value of their partners and their relationships are so fragile as to be affected by social constructs of beauty and femininity, then is it positively serving women? Is it something they need in their lives? Women need to ask themselves this.

Views expressed are the author's own. 

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