Shouldn't Parties And Gatherings Be Fun-Filled Event For Women Too?

Parties can be fun—a good time to catch up with family and friends, talk, laugh, and dance our hearts out. But does everyone actually get to enjoy the party? A lot of prep work goes into hosting parties—and who does all the prep work? The woman of the house! Every time a family hosts a party, why are women confined in the kitchen while the men get to relax, chat, and enjoy? Don’t women too deserve to take off from the damn kitchen for one day and enjoy a party?

In our patriarchal society, it’s an unsaid rule that if you are born a woman, you spend the majority of the day in the kitchen. Reports reveal that the average woman spends 7.2 hours of her daily time on domestic chores, while men spend only 2.8 hours. If a woman is passionate about cooking and spends a lot of time in the kitchen out of her own free will, that is completely fine. But how is it fair to push women into the kitchen by deeming it their "duty?"

Women Confined To Kitchen

During parties, the amount of time women spend in the kitchen multiplies because the number of people they cook for increases. Besides, how can we eat dal chawal or roti for a party? So while women are forced to put on their toques (chef caps) and make a variety of time- and energy-consuming dishes, men sit on their sinhaasan (throne) with a juice glass, chatting and laughing.

Seldom do men even pour themselves a glass of water that is right there in front of them. It has been ingrained in our minds that women are in charge of cooking, serving, and cleaning, while men are in charge of the easy and fun job of entertaining the guests. Why can’t men cook, serve, and clean instead? Why does it hurt their fragile egos to go help out the women in the kitchen?

Shefali Shah’s short film &t=32s">Juice beautifully portrays gender bias in the kitchen. The women are all seen working their fingers to the bone in a kitchen that barely has any ventilation. The men, on the other hand, are cosied up on the couch, cracking women-bashing jokes. Once the dishes are done, one of the women calls her daughter, who would barely be 10 years old, to serve the men while the boys of similar age continue to play video games. Wow! Passing on gender bias to the next generation as well!

Patriarchal societies believe that women enjoy cooking and love showcasing their culinary skills. No, not all women! How’s that to hear for a change? Not all women like cooking. Many women cook because they have been forced to do so right from their childhood. Older women have been teaching younger women that "the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach" and it is the duty of a woman to keep her husband happy. That’s why a lot of women cook, not necessarily because they "love" cooking.

Why doesn’t society consider that women too deserve to take a break and have fun? Don’t women deserve to cosy up on the couch, chat with the guests, sing, dance, and have fun? Don’t women at least deserve to relax and have fun during parties and special occasions? Why should men be ashamed to go help out in the kitchen? Why should men who help their wives be called "henpecked"?

Society needs to understand that women have a lot more than sabji recipes to share at the table. When is society going to realise that women too can contribute to any discussion ranging from business to politics? It’s not like men were born with knowledge about everything on the globe and women were born holding a ladle.

Cooking and cleaning are life skills that everyone needs to acquire for their own survival. So please stop assuming that it’s the duty of women to cook and clean. We have come quite a long way from the narrative that a woman's place is in the kitchen. Can men please get off their sinhaasan and contribute equally? After all, it’s their house too!

Suggested Reading: Kitchen Shouldn’t Be The Only Place Women Are Allowed To Take Decisions

Views expressed by author are their own