Etiquettes During Family Gatherings: Why Are Women Confined In The Kitchens?

In our country, guests are treated like gods. They are served and respected with great enthusiasm and interest. The table cloth is changed, bed sheets are changed, new crockery is taken out, fragrance from the room freshener spreads in the entire house and everyone in the family is told about their duties when the guests arrive. But the problem is, every time when guests arrive, why are women confined in the kitchens? While men sit amongst the guests swirling glasses of wine? Do women not have the right to be a part of the table discussions?

It is common in our society for women to remain in the kitchen to take care of the needs of people in the house. Every day they have to wake up and walk into the kitchen to make different things for different people in the house. According to research, women spend seven and an hour in the kitchen every day. Sometimes women do it out of love and concern, sometimes out of passion and sometimes for the sake of her duty.

But when there are special occasions in the house or when guests visit a family, women still are not free from kitchen duties. In fact, the hours she spends per day increase due to the increased number of people to cook for. Moreover, on special occasions, women are expected to cook different delicious dishes which again consumes a lot of time. On the other hand, men enjoy their free time during festivals or have spent a good amount of time talking with guests. Rarely do men think of getting up from their throne and helping women in the kitchen.  They feel they are in charge of entertaining guests through conversation while women’s work is o make them happy through food. They pass orders in the house and expect kids too to help their mothers in the kitchen but never get up from their seats to help their wives.

Why Are Women Confined In The Kitchens While Men Enjoy Wine?

But is this not an unfair division of labour? Why should women exert themselves in the kitchen throughout the time when guests are in the house? Why do men get the privilege to sit, swirl wine and have an interesting conversation with guests? Why is it that every time the hard work is done by women and the easy and even entertaining work by men? Do women not deserve to relax and have a good time during special occasions?

Women are never made a part of family discussions. Their contribution to the discussions is overlooked as a suggestion from an inexperienced person. They are always expected to stand at the corner of the door and wait for the plates and glasses to get empty so that she can serve more food. She is expected to be totally focused on the taste of the food and not the topic of the discussions. It is because of the absence of women in gatherings that the table discussions turn into wife-bashing sessions for men.

But it is high time now that we understand that women too can participate in discussions and contribute a lot through their intellect. It is only a"> stereotype that women have no interest in views about finances, politics and trends in society. And even if they are not so aware, they deserve the right to sit amongst guests and family members, swirl wine and listen to or participate in discussions. It is not like every man has the knowledge of everything on the plate. They too are ignorant about things and still express their opinions, Then why can’t women? Why is it assumed that women are capable of duties in the kitchen alone?

So next time when guests arrive, men and women should be equally involved in both duties- related to the kitchen and those related to entertaining guests. This is one of the most important etiquettes during family gatherings that every Indian who respects guests should know.

Views expressed are the author's own.