Why Are More Women Choosing Singlehood These Days?

For centuries, women have been defined by their relationships, sometimes they are someone's daughter, sometimes they are someone's wife and sometimes their mother. Their own identity has revolved around others in their life and now they have decided that they will no longer neglect their existence anymore.

There have been increasing cases of women choosing to remain single and accomplish personal achievements rather than being in a relationship. They are choosing to love themselves before they fall in love with someone else and prioritise their mental well-being and desires over complying with someone else's wishes. This is because women have spent centuries being defined by their relationships in society.

They have grown up being told that their life is unfruitful if they are not someone's wife or mother. These restrictions have caused women to rebel against the patriarchal structure of society and live life on their terms.

Why Are Women Choosing Singlehood And Self-Love?

Women of today want to build a life that they are proud of, that allows them to take their own life decisions and be independent in all aspects. This is why they are focusing more on their education and career rather than looking for a suitable groom once they are 21. They want to build a stable career and life and be a reliable daughter to their family instead of being a dependent wife. They have seen their mothers and other older females in the house being treated badly just because they were uneducated and financially dependent on their husbands. They don't want their opinions to be repressed and hence want to stand on their own two feet to become their voice.

A student from Delhi University talked about her priorities and said, "I am not looking for a husband or partner right now. I want to focus on my studies and build a stable career so that I can afford my needs and wants. I don't want to depend on my husband for financial or daily needs. Instead, I want to be in an equal relationship where we earn our own money and support each other in all ways and that will take time. When I look for a husband in future, I want that money or income should not to be a criterion and it should purely be based on mutual respect and love."

Prioritising a career does not mean that women don't dream of dating anybody. They do and have dated men but at times their experiences are so terrible that the relationship leaves them with trauma and insecurities. A few bad men make them lose faith in men in general and healing from their past relationship is easier said than done. They are cheated on, made insecurely, humiliated, abused, disrespected, controlled and manipulated which leaves them questioning their worth. In loving others with all their heart, they forget to love themselves and when they come out of that relationship, it is hard to gain faith in themselves.

A student shared how her ex manipulated her into behaving the way he wanted her to. She said, " He often told me to dress certain ways and not talk to boys as I did not know how bad their intentions were. I am someone who always spoke what was on my mind and he used to tell me that it was embarrassing to see me argue when I was wrong. I stopped talking to people and started dressing up the way he wanted which was completely different from my style, in just a few months he had made me the opposite of who I was. I was in love with him and thought that he was telling me all this because he wished well for me but soon I got exhausted of pretending to be someone I was not. When I tried to speak about my feelings to him, he disregarded them and even tried to blame me for being an attention seeker. That's when I realised if he can't accept me the way I am, he does not deserve a place in my life".

Bad relationship experiences make women prefer singlehood and self-love instead of toxic relations. That is the reason why many women these days are single in their 40s and 50s. They haven't found a person who would not make them insecure and not feel insecure about her achievements, a relationship that has mutual respect and love, where none of them has to compromise but our understanding of each other. Such love is hard to find these days and that's why women prefer to stay single.

Career and self-love are the top two priorities of women these days as they have learnt from their past and now want to focus on themselves rather than others. Singlehood is the best option to avoid toxic relations and focus entirely on their future and career.

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