Women and Money: Dominating If She Takes Control Ignorant If She Doesn't

We live in a society where it is presumed that men know where and how to spend, save or invest money whereas women don’t know anything about managing finances. While we shame women for interfering in financial decisions of the house, we never question or criticise how men self appoint themselves as some sort of financial authority in taking money decisions.

We have imbibed the bias that brothers, husbands or fathers are breadwinners and they have the right and duty to manage finances while sisters, wives or mothers can be working women, file theirs taxes but cannot or rather, must not make important financial decisions on their own. A woman who directs her brother or husband or father in how, where and when to save, spend or invest is a bossy lady. In most cases, it is expected a man will look after money when when it is earned by a female member of the family. Lets have a look at some real life situations:

Seema and Soheil

Seema is one of those “super” homemakers who gets up early in the morning to make delicious and healthy breakfasts for her kids, husband and in-laws, drops and picks kids to and from their school, manages house chores, prepares hot meals for the family, takes care of in-laws and other social obligations.

Her husband Soheil is a businessman, loves his family without showing much affection (A man cannot be emotional!) and fulfills his basic duties as a son, husband or father.

He gives Rs 30k to Seema monthly to pay bills and expenses. Seema would firstly ask Soheil’s permission in case of any extra or big expenses and if he agrees, he will give Seema that amount. Neither Seema nor Soheil or their family and friends think there is any issue with this arrangement.

Madri and Malhar

Madri is a trained Odissi Dancer, a mother and a wife. She conducts her shows as well as runs a dance institute. Her husband Malhar is a Botany professor. While Malhar has a steady job and income, Madri may have some extremely good financial weeks and some not-so-good weeks.

Madri looks after the family’s financial expenses as well she takes a call on where and when to invest or save or spend. She is basically the financial planner of the family. Since Madri manages the finances, Malhar gives 70% of his salary to Madri while keeping 30% for his monthly expenses. When Malhar has a big spending, he will discuss this with Madri and then both decide whether to spend or forgo.

Women and finance: Misogynous Social Roles

Malhar’s sister Seema thinks that her brother has given her Bhabhi a lot of freedom while Malhar’s brother-in-laws, Soheil, thinks Madri is dominating wife and Malhar is a weak husband. Malhar’s parents vehemently opposed such arrangement in Malhar’s life. They criticised Madri and labelled her the strong-headed and “not an ideal” wife. They wanted their son to be the “man-of the-house”. Many of Malhar’s friends, cousins make fun of him while labelling Madri as a dominating wife.

Suggested Reading:

Women Handle House, Men Handle Money. Is This An Equal Division Of Labour?

Financial Awareness cannot be gender defined

In the stone age, men were hunters while women were nurturers. In most societies and cultures, men are still assigned the role to earn the food while women play the crucial role of nurturer, manager, conflict resolver and caretaker. Let us take traditional gender roles into the consideration; men make and earn money by either working as an employee or running own venture. Women manage household, do groceries, keep track of income vs. spending, are influencers in making big spending decisions like, buying a car or house. The gist is men make money while women (implicitly) manage it, and yet, the irony is women are either ignorant or dominating when it comes to managing finances!

In a business the department which generates revenue i.e. sales and marketing does not make saving or investment related decisions. Finance-related decision is made by account and finance department. A person who is the breadwinner does NOT necessarily know intricacies of finances!

The views expressed are the author's own.