Homemade Drudgery: Why Burden The Woman To Complete Chores By Hand?

There’s this tweet where a man tweeted, “Those who grew up eating idlis, dosas, coconut-based curries…ground on this stone, will know that no electric mixer/blender can even create that magic. The science of breakdown is different. The wisdom of the ancestors is different. Have a great Saturday”, along with a picture of a woman (obviously) grinding batter on a hand stone grinder.

Thankfully women on social media are quick to catch such men who love to burden their womenfolk with extra household chores.

I can never forget the Malayalam film ‘The Great Indian Kitchen’, the story of every Indian household, this drudgery that the women of this country perform each day in the name of sanskaar, duty and ‘all good women will do this’ comment.

When I got married, I hardly knew how to cook, let alone churn out three square meals a day. And I believed I lacked the skill to run a household. I also thought how come my parents did not insist that I learn to prep, cook, bake, etc. After years I became wiser and understood that my parents wanted me to do more than just be cooped up in a kitchen and were prepping me for that. How thankful I am for their farsightedness!

Why exactly is it a woman’s job to do each and every chore in the house?

How and when was this decision taken and by whom? Now, even in these times when women are working in high positions as men, earning as much if not more than men that they have to come back home and do the cooking, cleaning, laundry and child care as well? I loved what one woman wrote in reply, “Life should be made easier for men. Never for women”, another one added, “Life should be made easier; tastier; enjoyable; exciting and comfortable for men... at the cost of women... That's the point of the entire universe. That’s the belief of guys.”

Suggested Reading:

Carework To Household: Unfair Things Women Have To Do As Unpaid Labourers Of Love

Why do men have the right to decide?

Do men like the one who tweeted; for once have they entered the kitchen? Tried to do what women do each day there? I could fully understand when another woman tweeted, “My father used to torture my mother to grind chutney and masala in the grinding stone and we all used to suffer because of that. My mom a working woman would be grinding the stuff early in the morning while preparing food. This is a punishment for anyone who does this hard work.” I could imagine this scenario through the actor who did everything by hand in the film ‘The Great Indian Kitchen’ because her father-in-law didn’t like pressure cooker cooked rice or mixer ground chutneys. And because she had to do all this, she was not allowed to work outside. Commenting on the role of men in household chores one wrote, “Yes and it's always the ones who have never contributed to housework who make these entitled statements.”

A still from The Great Indian Kitchen. Picture Credit: YouTube

The wonders of a woman’s hand

Taking this conversation forward another woman wrote, “Similar ones: Atta ghar ka pisa better hai. Kapde haath he dhule zyada achche saaf hote hain. Achar ghak ka dala, dhoop mein paka zyada swad hota hai. Chutney silbatte ki zyada badiya hoti hai.” “It is just so annoying how people glorify drudgery. Not to say silbatti ka chutney isn't better. It is. But that should be a luxury meal cooked once a week, by someone who doesn't cook anything else.” replied a Twitter user. Another wrote, “Includes older women too.... Humara zamana and humne toh etc etc” wrote commenting on the role of the matriarchs in households.

This woman is correct you know, the elder women in the family instead of freeing the next generation of women from this drudgery will willingly force them into it to maintain the stranglehold of the family. Nobody is unfamiliar; it’s something that our daily soaps dish out too. I would like to end this section with this tweet, which even gets my goat, “The other thing that gets my goat is the need for hot rotis straight from the tawa!”

Why Burden The Woman To Complete Chores By Hand? Put a stop to this entitlement

You might ask how? Well, a woman tweeted, “My atta is from a packet, clothes are washed in the washing machine and then dried in a dryer. Dishes are loaded for washing in the dishwasher. I buy ready to pour milk, so no boiling, readymade dahi and readymade idli/dosa batter. Readymade pickle and papad too!” I am not proposing doing away with household responsibilities fully, but get the men and boys in your house to help out, ask them to grind the chutney on the sil batta for a change, use whatever modern appliances are at your disposal, for I can’t agree more when a woman wrote, “Yes! Tying your life to food/household duty timelines and then judging those who make their life easier and carve out time for other things with modern conveniences. I actually had an hour-long conversation about semi vs automatic washing machine debate”.

Towards the end, I want to add what the first woman who marked this man’s tweet wrote, “I’m sure this gentleman’s family would cherish a breakfast made by him the traditional way.” Can’t help but smile picturing this. 

And so what can you do with the leftover time from drudgery, well, pursue your interests instead, go out make time for your girlfriends, catch a movie or something.

The views expressed are the author's own.