Why Does It Irk You When Women With Successful Careers Have Helpers?

The definition of success in our society is very complicated as success has become a subjective feeling. Further, it is perceived differently when it comes to gender. The elements of success might change with varied genders, it is less objective. We should ask ourselves shouldn’t success be an objective term? Shouldn’t success be about how we see ourselves?

Recently, I came across a tweet in which a person was talking about a woman who was a high-plane corporate leader. By the designation, we can surely say that the woman has worked hard to attain the position she is in currently. But according to the tweet, she was an overprivileged woman. Why? Because she had helpers who helped her manage work, house, and family.

Whenever I talk about my success, my father always says, consider yourself successful the day when you can fend for a person. Consider yourself successful when you have brought a change in someone’s life. And I do agree with him although I believe that success is like a ladder; achieving one rung is as much important as achieving the top rung. However, if I go by my father’s definition of success, it clearly shows that taking care of family or fending for a helper is a marker of success. And I am sure you will agree with me on this.

If a person has a helper, it means they are earning enough to pay and change the life of the helper. It means that the person is capable of providing for the needs of not only themselves but others too. A person hires a helper to share the burden of the house. It is their own money and their own investment. What is wrong with that?  Why should we be bothered by it?

What Is Wrong If A Woman Hires A Helper?

As far as considering women overprivileged is concerned, it cannot be denied that having a helper is a privilege. But what is wrong if the woman has earned that privilege? Why should we be bothered if a woman earns enough to fend for a servant or an employee?

I think more than success, gender plays a crucial role in the way that the tweet analysed the achievements of the woman. Another tweet that I came across said, “So when women with successful careers have helpers & even acknowledge having them to manage other parts of their life, they're no longer inspirational because women should suffer more to get recognition amirite.” This tweet made me wonder about how gender also determines the definition of success.

In our society, women have to hustle more than men to achieve a certain position in life. Studies have shown that women have to work twice as harder as men to earn the same amount of salary. Moreover, they also have to take care of the family and house. Because unless a woman becomes multi-tasking, she is not considered charismatic. A woman in our society is inspiring only if she manages both families and works together.

In the case of the corporate leader, the tweet showed an irk when the woman mentioned having a servant to help her in managing the house. The person behind the tweet definitely considered those women successful who have to hustle till the last breath and yet manage house and family on their own. Hiring a helper when a woman is in the house seems weird, wasteful or a sign of privilege to many people.

But dear society, when it is okay for men to hire servants to help them share the burden of the house, then why not for women? Why should women always suffer to get the things they want in life? Can women not have things easily as men do? Can they not have privilege, especially when they have earned it? Why should women always be sacrificial? Why should they always take all the burden on themselves to prove that they are important? They are humans too. And so they have limits. We should be thankful for the work they do rather than taking their efforts for granted. Let us recognise women and value them for who they are before they put their feet down and stop caring about what people think.

Views expressed are the author's own. 

Suggested Reading: Survey Reveals How Women Leaders Still Face Stereotypes And Discrimination