Widowed Mother In UP Assaulted For Wanting To Remarry: Is This A Refined Version Of Sati?

A 34-year-old mother of five was mercilessly beaten and humiliated by her relatives for several hours in front of her children for wanting to marry a 35-year-old man after losing her husband four years ago.

Videos of the incident surfaced on the internet on Wednesday evening, and one of the children can be seen crying out loud upon seeing the mother being assaulted and falling unconscious. The villagers also thrashed the man whom the woman wished to marry. The incident happened in the Junawasi area of UP’s Sambhal district.

Widow Assaulted For Wanting To Remarry

One video showed the man tied to a tree and being slapped and kicked brutally. Another clip showed the woman tied to a tree, her hair being pulled and manhandled while villagers stood around watching the incident and recording it on their mobile phones.

Initially, the police believed that the couple was assaulted due to some land dispute and booked the assaulters the next day after the video went viral on the internet. The police have arrested four men and booked them under various sections of the Indian Penal Code. Four other men are absconding, and all of the accused are the woman’s relatives.

Locals claimed that the assault went on for three hours, after which the woman who sustained injuries was dragged to her house and locked inside. It was also alleged that cousins of her late husband were also involved in the assault. Police rescued the woman, who had been living with her in-laws, on Thursday evening. The woman revealed that she wanted to remarry and settle down again, but her family members and community were against it.

In what world is it wrong or illegal for a widowed woman to want to remarry? This cruelty just seems like a refined version of sati, a social evil that we believe has been eradicated. However, it seems that certain pockets of society might not literally want the widow to jump into the pyre but expect her to live in hell for the rest of her life.

When a man is widowed, society pities him and immediately prepares to get him married again because "how can a man be alone?" If he has children, the process is only accelerated because the children "need a mother." But when the situation is vice versa and a widowed woman with children wishes to remarry, she is judged, shamed, and assaulted. Hypocrisy at its peak!

"You’re a mother, and you've got the responsibility to raise the kids!" "How can you be so selfish and not think about your kids?" "Aren’t you conscience-stricken for being unfaithful to your husband?" It’s pretty common for widowed mothers to be asked all this in certain pockets of society.

Motherhood is so glorified that women are not seen as individuals after becoming mothers. Their entire lives are expected to revolve around their children. Why should women give up on their dreams and desires after becoming mothers? Don't they deserve to have a happy life as individuals?

Why does a woman’s life have to end if her husband passes away? Isn’t it her choice to decide whether or not she wants another man in her life? Why isn’t society letting women access their basic agency in life? Seeking a life partner after widowhood or divorce isn’t wrong. So, what if she is a mother? She will always be a mother to her children, but that doesn’t mean she is not an individual with desires of her own. Why are widowed and divorced mothers seen only as "mothers" and not individuals?

How can society be so cruel to a woman who just wants to remarry and settle down? Didn't anyone try to stop this insanity that allegedly went on for three hours? Weren't people even considerate towards her minor children, who were helplessly crying while watching their mother being assaulted? What kind of heartless and brainless society are we living in?

Suggested Reading: Widow Remarriages Are Still Stigmatised In India, Why?