Hey Men, Your Partner May Be Faking An Orgasm Because Of Your Fragile Ego

The female orgasm is the butt of numerous jokes and laughter. We all have watched enough movies and memes to tell that if 10 women claim to have experienced orgasm, there is a solid chance that only two of them were speaking the truth.

It is a known fact that so many women fail to climax even once during sex throughout their lives. While it has a lot to do with how women are shamed for their bodies, it is also about how they do not get enough agency to fulfil express their sexual desires, or direct their partner to fulfil them.

Millions of videos, tutorials, education porn and whatnot have been marketed in the name of " How to make a woman orgasm". Because the dialogue about the female orgasm is still so skewed most people fail to acknowledge that every woman's body is different and one technique or move will not necessarily sail the boat. In fact, many men who take pride in their "moves" and go on advertising how they absolutely satisfied so many women are most likely delusional. There's a chance that the women they talk about were totally faking it. Don't think that's true? Well, we got numbers- a study has found that 80 percent of women fake orgasm.

Why Women Fake Orgasm?

According to a recent study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, a survey done on 283 women found that most of them faked orgasm in order to please men with fragile egos. The study stated that straight women feel "obligated" to compliment their male sexual partners because if they do not respond in a certain way, their partners will feel threatened. It is devastating to note how toxic masculinity is robbing women of sexual satisfaction and men of reality.

Suggested Reading: To Get Horny Is Human: Let’s Shed The Stigma Around Female Pleasure

The pressure of performing well in bed is so high on most cishet men that they almost forget that the purpose at hand is mutual pleasure and the male sex organ's victory. This makes women get closed up about their feelings and they are unable to communicate what they would like in bed. The same study revealed that women who earn more money than their male partners are twice as likely as others to fake orgasm. Of course, they have to compensate in bed and give up their sexual desires in order to make their male partners feel secure in their masculinity.

The lead author of the study, Jessica Jordan of the University of South Florida, pointed out, "These women privilege what they think are the needs of their partner at the expense of their own sexual needs and their satisfaction." Even in their formative years, men and women are fed different ideas about sex. It is considered something that men do to women rather than a mutual act that both men and women participate in.

Even in modern relationships where most people only see sex as a mutual act the patriarchal notion of men being superior to women at times seeps in bed. Orgasm is something men think they can give women owing to their sexual prowess when in reality is something for which both partners have to work together and independently too, all at the same time.

The only way to change this notion is to talk. Men need to understand that a woman's orgasm is not as straight forward as their own, and is it not about size or force or duration. It is about care, passion and understanding, because orgasm is isn't just sexual it is an emotional state too. Only when the male outlook towards sex and masculinity changes will women be able to address the orgasm gap in their bedrooms.

Views expressed are the author's own.