Congress Leader Shames Woman For Sologamy Plans; Why Can't We Let Women Be?

After Kshama Bindu, a 24-year-old woman from Gujarat announced that she was going to marry herself on June 11; social media has been erupting with reactions. People’s reactions have ranged from congratulating the bride-to-be, to confusion, and to outright dislike. One person who has firmly planted himself as a person who disliked the news is Congress leader Milind Deora.

Milind Deora replied to a report about Kshama Bindu’s plans of sologamy and tweeted that “I have said it before - 'wokeness' borders on insanity. Let’s hope it stays far, far away from India”.

While some supported his opinion, others disagreed with his views and responded to his tweet. A user replied, “We live in a country where women born under the influence of Mars must marry banana plants, peepal trees, dogs and clay ports so their negative influence is not transferred to their future husbands. If ‘wokeness’ is insanity, what do you call these customary practices.”

One person responded to Milind Deora by saying that “At best it is someone practising what they wish, at worst it is a complete non-issue”. They also added that it was “Nothing to get worked up about”.

The user brought up a good point about how sologamy, the act of marrying yourself, does not harm anyone and that it is a ‘non-issue’. Read the tweet here. 

Why Are People Against Sologamy?

Kshama Bindu’s decision to marry herself did not harm anyone, yet people were still against the idea. While some people may not understand sologamy or personally would not engage in self-marriage, does it mean people should pass negative comments or say that it ‘borders on insanity'?

Supporters of sologamy claimed that the practice helps lead people to realise their own value and lead happier lives. If sologamy makes Bindu happy, then who are we to stop or judge her?

Is Mocking The Interests Of Women A Recent Development?

Historically, the interests of women, especially young women have been deemed as 'overhyped' and the women have been described as 'hysterical' for enjoying certain things.

The famous band The Beatles rose in popularity due to its immense female fan following. Journalist Paul Johnson wrote an article in which fans were then described as "moronic" and classified as the "least fortunate of their generation, the dull, the idle, the failures". Another 2018 New Yorker article described the fans of BTS as "young women going cuckoo, clutching themselves in a kind of hysterical rapture".

Both The Beatles and BTS have received critical acclaim for their music, yet their female adolescent fans are always treated as 'hysterical' and their interests are deemed as 'basic' and 'overhyped' because they have female fans.

How long will types of ideas, music, and media be mocked just because they are liked by women?

Why Is Hysterical An Insult Generally Aimed At Women?

The term 'hysteria' is based on the Greek word hystera, which means uterus. Hysteria is the behaviour of exhibiting overwhelming emotion or excess. In the 19th century, it was even considered a diagnosable illness in women.

When women display emotion, they're labelled as 'crazy' or 'hysterical'. This labelling makes it easier for the opinions and emotions of women to be dismissed as insignificant or deemed to be an overreaction.

Why Can't Society Mind Its Own Business?

The age-old question arises. Why can't society mind its own business? If a woman wants to marry herself, that's her prerogative. If she wants to marry somebody else, then that's her decision.

Why not just accept that people will make their own choices? Instead of growing angry that women like a certain band or book or movie, people could instead mind their own business. It would require less time and energy than writing hateful and misogynistic comments.

What joy do people get from mocking women's personal preferences?

Views expressed are the author's own

Suggested Reading: How To Be A Bride Without Becoming A Wife? Marry Yourself