When Will Society Stop Making Marriage A License to Live? Ask Unmarried Women in India...

Living as unmarried women in India is one difficult task because society prefers to 'protect' us and take decision on our behalf. It's not safe to be a single woman, it's 'important' for women to have companionship, and there are many other reasons presented to push women into marriage

Once you enter your twenties, relatives from all sides coming around with rishtas and partner's insta profiles. No one bothers to ask the woman if she wants to get married at all. In fact for most families, girls have to be raised to get married not raised to be independent women. Here are five

Five reasons for marriage every girl is 'forced' to believe in:

1. You can't live alone

Staying single makes women independent. They learn how to handle their life problems on their own with no one to ask for help. Whatever they earn, they can spend on their own selves or whoever without any second thoughts. Having a single life means there's no obligation to cook for a houseful of people or 'maintain a work-life balance' if a woman doesn't want to.

This idea of women having a life devoid of patriarchal shackles makes the society uncomfortable. Marriage appears to be the only solution for them to chop off a woman's happy and contended life. The actual reason why the ">society does not want us to live alone is that it fears our independence. It's only rare that people accept women who live a life of freedom.

2. Marriage gives you stability

This reason imposed on women directly implies that women are automatically pushed towards living a restricted lifestyle on getting married. Once they start living with their husband and in laws, they are expected to fulfil responsibilities that wouldn't have arisen had they been single. Or in case they didn't really want to take them up. Basically, 'stability' here refers to the checklist you will be given the moment you become a married woman. You will be handed over a rulebook you cannot disagree to follow. Therefore, under the garb of seeing you "settled down", the society just wants to see you enslaved.

3. Husband and children 'complete' a woman

Here's what it means- Unmarried and childfree women have reached a point in life where they know exactly what they want. They have agency over their own bodies and mind. But the society cannot afford to see them that way. For them, women are only fit to play the roles of a mother, daughter and sister. Opting out of any of these roles does not make women 'incomplete'. It just makes the people around them insecure. They are too rigid to accept women as individual beings with an identity.

4. Just follow what is 'normal'

In simple words, not getting married would mean that you are a strong woman. You are brave enough to live on your own and you can manage your life without seeking for the assistance of a male. But guess what, in the eyes of conservative Indians, strong women are evil. They are chalu and have a kaichi jaisi zubaan. By directing us to "follow the norm", patriarchy wants to limit our already limited opportunities. Isn't it about time we let women take their own decisions instead of imposing ours on them?

5. Don't be so selfish

Yes, it's your life but you cannot do as you please. By doing so, you are setting a "bad example". This is what people mean when they ask you to not be selfish. In all honesty, getting married just to avoid confronting the "log kya kahenge" saga is not a wise decision at all. Why can't we accept that unmarried women aren't 'selfish'. They are just confident; confident enough to live for themselves without the interference of unwanted outsiders.

Views expressed are author's own