What Are The Things I'm Leaving Behind This Year?

As the year 2022 comes to an end, it's time for me to put my fingers on the keyboard and leave this article behind as a reminder of the things I'm leaving behind this year. 

It's important to leave things behind to make space for new things. Holding onto things that no longer serve me as a reminder of my past, only impedes my growth. 

I don't believe one can completely renounce habits that once formed a part of one's life. There's always the devil tempting one to slip back into unhealthy patterns. It takes resolve to evolve away from certain habits but it takes little to no resolve to slip right back into them. 

So what are the things I resolve to leave behind this year? And most importantly, why do I plan to leave them behind? 

Things I'm Leaving Behind This Year 

People Pleasing 

I'm a recovering people pleaser and this has been number one on my list for good reason. People pleasing is a survival tactic for a lot of children growing up. Children often meet dire punishment for not resonating with the views of their elders. Therefore, they smartly learn to voice the same views despite not believing in them because they are scared of the consequences. Here begins a child's people-pleasing journey, which they carry well into adulthood. People pleasing makes one grow resentful as time passes by. One constantly says yes to others at the cost of saying no to themselves. 

Society's Opinions

This one is a little challenging to accomplish being part of society. Dissenters are ostracised from society for not conforming. However, out of all the weights I'm used to lifting at the gym, the weight of society's opinion seems the heaviest. And I'm done with wasting my energy on that overload. My shoulders felt so much lighter every single time I put the weight of other people's opinions down. 

External Validation

Human beings are social creatures and I do believe that they need some amount of external validation to thrive. Humans do crave external interaction and they do seem to seek external validation from close ones. However, oftentimes even people close to us are not on the same page as us. Therefore, deriving a sense of worth from someone else does not amount to internal growth. It also gives rise to codependency and a debilitated sense of self. Thus, it is a good practice to turn to the one you see in the mirror when in need of validation. 

Projecting

Well, this one is a little difficult to work on. Who am I kidding? Most of the things I've mentioned till now are. Inner work is difficult as it is not tangible. 

You will realise that sometimes you were not angry with who or what you expressed your anger at but at something else entirely. Projecting is a result of living in the past. When past hurt is not felt or dealt with, it is our nervous system's way of holding onto that pain subconsciously. Projecting is your inner child's way of protecting your nervous system from more pain by bringing up your past hurt. You cannot blame your nervous system for wanting to protect you. 

The next time you're angry, however, make a practice of taking a pause and contemplating whether you're living in the past or the present.

Hustle Culture 

Don't get me wrong, hustle is important to help you accomplish your goals. However, taking a break is also equally important. The most important lesson I learned this year is that one doesn't have to earn their breaks. The body has a way of shutting down by itself if denied breaks for too long. For the longest time, I've always had a packed schedule to keep myself fully occupied. As a result, I've cracked down hard on my body a lot of times this year.

But as the year started coming to a close, I realised that my body needed more rest than what I was giving it. The hustle culture can make you feel underproductive on the days you're taking a rest. But healing and growth happen on the days you're curled up in your bed thinking. So let no tough-love coach ever tell you otherwise. 

Breathe. Pause. Reflect. What are the things you plan on leaving behind this year?

The views expressed are the author's own. 

Suggested Reading: Penny For Thought: Are You Sustaining Or Ditching Your New Year Resolutions?