Staring Without Consent Is Offensive, Why Are Men So Shocked?

A nightclub in Sydney introduced new safety measures as a part of their harassment policy that includes a ban on staring without consent. But women and men have different reactions to this policy which comes from their own lived experiences.

Nightclubs are not known for their safe environment as women often face uncomfortable stares, groping and even molestation or worse, almost every time. However, this toxic male behaviour isn't limited to nightclubs. Uncomfortable stares from men are something every woman has faced, no matter where she lives. Many women avoid visiting clubs at night because having fun and chilling with friends entails a lot of danger in reality, inside the club or outside. Women end up avoiding outings as night simply because it doesn't seem worth the risk.

Australian nightclub bans staring

A club called Club 77 in Sydney, Australia announced earlier this month that it aimed to become stricter with harassment incidents and to create a safe space for everyone to have a good time. On its social media handle the club wrote, "As a nightclub, we encourage you to interact with strangers, however any engagement MUST begin with verbal consent. This also applies if you are, for example, staring at someone from afar. If the attention you are giving someone is unwanted, that is considered harassment."

Taking it up a notch to make sure the problem is solved at the moment of occurrence, the club will have safety officer posted inside the club as mentioned in their post. "Each night, one of our security guards inside the club will be designated a 'Safety Officer' and recognisable by a pink hi-vis vest. They have been trained to handle complaints and concerns. If you're being harassed by another person or receiving unwanted attention, please seek them out or tell our staff immediately."

Men react to the announcement

After the club announced their safety measures, men all over the internet seem to find it offensive and funny at the same time. They left unusual comments like, "Sydney’s premier non-pickup joint," or "Kicked out for looking at someone? So what is the safety officer looks at me, is he getting kicked out? Hahahah". Most men think staring is a normal thing and part of approaching someone. Another person commented, "So glad My clubbing days are over!!! This club was epic 10 years ago not now enjoy your “safe” place crazy lefties" which shows how men think unsafe places are more enjoyable because they have the liberty to spoil women's experience to have fun and a little accountability will kill the joy.

A person seemed to be really confused about why this was necessary as he asked, "Looking at someone is considered harassment? Could someone please tell me how this came to be?". Wonder why men are so clueless that staring can be scary and uncomfortable!

Suggested Reading: Dear Men, My Clothes Have Nothing To Do With My Consent

Why is staring a different experience for men and women?

Men probably have never experienced what it is to be stared at constantly by a set of predatory eyes, which only intends to objectify a living being's body. On one hand, it is great that most men have not experienced this traumatic harassment of being stared at or approached without consent or the constant fear of being molested, but that doesn't mean these experiences don't exist.

If men did not experience being stared at doesn't mean women haven't too. Most men might not be sexual predators but they do come across as insensitive when they fail to acknowledge women's traumatic experiences.

The safety of women is a priority considering the times we are living in, and the way women get attacked and even murdered for not giving in to the advances of a man. So making fun of the harassment policy of a nightclub only shows where the problem lies. It is not understandable why a person would not be able to differentiate between a healthy flirt and a creepy stare. And what the meaning of consent is. If one has not been living under a rock they must have overcome discussions of consent through social media, public marches, newspapers and everywhere. Consent is a basic human right and no one should be denied of it. So to the people who have a problem with not being able to stare at women without their consent, a rule of not staring was made for you, I guess.

Image Credit: The News Minute

Views expressed are author's own.