Marriage On Cards? How To Break Society's Expectations?

Have you ever felt that even though marriage is often said to be the coming together of two equals or two halves, there lies a difference in societal expectations of men and women? For decades we have seen a social norm of ‘working men’ and ‘housewives’. Almost every household has had a lady dedicated to managing the internal house affairs, while the man is expected to step out for work. These are the defined gender roles that have existed for ages and have formed societal expectations.

So even now, when part of the population is breaking these stereotypes, we as a society find it unsettling or highly praised based on the personal opinion. Talking about myself, when I was young I too assumed that the females are supposed to look after every member of the house and the males only focus on maintaining monetary stability for the family. I believe it was based on my surroundings and my social social conditioning. This not the case just with me, in fact every household had this same situation.

Society's Expectations From Marriage

Well, society is quite rigid in its assumptions I believe. Let me give an example, the other day I was in my hometown and my younger cousins were playing outside. My uncle and aunt came by and spent some time around the kids after which they passed a comment saying boys don't pretend-play as caretakers and that my brothers should play sports while the sisters cook and clean. And this was said to kids who are aged between 8-11 years. It was unsettling watching them gender stereotyping at a time when women’s achievements are skyrocketing. 

Some would argue that it’s the biological differences that act as a base for societal expectations. But I don't share that opinion. How do we assume that an individual, based on their gender, is more polite, accommodating, and nurturing, while men are more dominant, aggressive, and bold? Why is it expected that women will take care of the children, cook, and clean the home, while men take care of finances? 

Societal expectations are formed due to wide acceptance and commonality of practices. These burden individuals with roles and responsibilities they might not want to take up. It also leads to restrictions and frustrations among people. We are trying to fit men and women in molds when it comes to their duties in households and that doesn't seem fair to both parties.

What can we do to change these prevalent expectations? Well, I have some suggestions- I think the very basic action can be to act as a role model for others. Don't give in to these preconceived notions. No one else has the right to dictate your equation with your partner so try to find a balance within that is different from these stereotypes and we may see less societal influence or rather more acceptance of not being bound by societal expectations. Discuss the stereotypes you notice with friends and family, and enlighten them on the harm that gender stereotypes cause.

Of Course, it is not possible to change society's point of view regarding something prevalent for a long time but we can work together to form a more accepting society, one that does not bind us through expectations. Rather helps to enlighten and make people more aware of themselves, their skills, or their choices.

Views expressed by author are their own

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