Why Are Single Older Women Judged By Society?

Society never runs short of judgement when it comes to women. Whether she is single, married, has children or has no children, society finds a way to criticise when women take control of their lives. That is what single women around the world who have crossed a certain age face every day.

Being single is not a choice in a patriarchal society, it is a condition that you have to follow or not follow depending upon the age group you belong to. If you are a woman in your teens, being single is mandatory for a good character, if you are in your 20s then you cannot be single and get married to a guy your family chose as soon as possible. If you are single in your 30s or above then you are a bad influence on people around you as you do not give importance to relationships and will probably encourage people to not get married. For them, the ultimate goal of life for a woman is to get married and start a family. If you are single by choice and want to focus on your life more then you are selfish and cruel.

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Society On Single Older Women

On January 12, a Twitter user, Sukhada with username @appadappajappa wrote, "A single woman who is beyond a certain age makes people so uncomfortable. As if one woman being consciously single is a personal attack on all romantic relationships." The tweet highlighted the stigma around single females who are restricted and avoided on every occasion in life, whether it comes to giving apartments for rent or family function invitations. Even if being single is their personal choice and not because they hate the idea of having a family, still they are seen as anti-romantics and someone who will encourage people to be single.

A Twitter user commented under the tweet, "Single women symbolise the 'status of unsubjugated' which riles men & women equally as it defies conservatives norms." Society has always preached that women are best when they are kept under control. Independent women who make their own decisions and live life on their terms have always been seen as a threat to society. They define the character of a woman based on how much freedom she has. They are always shown as someone who needs dominance in order to lead a fruitful life.

Another user commented, "The single men and women are not really welcome into a family setup of a married couple with children. They feel more comfortable mingling with their prototypes. Unless ofcourse it's a bad marriage, there are always exceptions. In case of bad marriage the single's hesitate". This is absolutely true as single women who are in their late 30s and 40s are often kept away from families so that they do not influence any other girl to be like them. On the other hand, they are also seen as unwanted and available which makes them prone to lewd behaviour and harassment by the hands of some over-friendly male relatives.

A Twitter user commented, "I think the perhaps the same also happens with a single man who is beyond a certain age. Maybe the degrees of discomfort vary. Singletons carry around tons of aura.". It is true that patriarchy takes away the freedom of choice from people, whether male or female. But one has to consider that the focus here is the varying amount of shame that each gender gets, men are way less criticised than women. Sure men will be advised to get married but according to society he is free to marry even in their 50s whereas for women the age of 30 looks too much for others. So when you see someone comment that women age faster than men, one can ask if the ageing is caused naturally or forcefully by society by making them feel older than their age.

There is nothing like personal choice and people have to live by the pre-defined norms of patriarchy to create an ideal society. However, is a society that does not allow people to choose what life they want to live really an ideal society?