73 Million Women Are Single By Choice. What Is Reason Behind That?

Let's talk about single women in India. What is the purpose of marriage for women in our society? Gaining social and financial security? Or achieving the goalpost of being a wife, bahu and mother? But what if a woman is self-sufficient? As in she can provide for herself; she can earn her own living; has achieved her goalpost of being an independent career woman, and is happy with her own company.

Then will marriage make any sense to her? Will she gain anything by getting married? That is how single women map their lives. When they can survive on their own, then why should they limit themselves in marriage?

According to a report by IndiaSpend, over 73 million women are single out of choice in India. They are socially and financially independent and don’t see a reason why they should depend on men and change themselves for them by getting married. But why are women avoiding marriages? Why is singlehood attracting women more than marriage?

The primary reason behind it is the fact that &t=29s">women's marriage in our society is not about companionship. It is about women depending on men for money, reputation and safety. But if a woman is capable of earning money and preserving her reputation on her own and can take care of her safety on her own, marriage will just be a bond limiting their freedom by making it indigent of a man’s approval. Because it cannot be ignored that once married, a woman needs her husband’s permission for everything she wants to do.

Moreover, marriage changes women by 360 degrees. Their identities and their ownerships are completely changed. They lose their decision-making power and become puppets of marital families.

Women have to leave their parental house where they grew up and consider their marital house as their own. They have to change their surname, sacrifice their career and devote themselves completely to taking care of the marital family. Women also lose ownership of their bodies, as marital families control their right to orgasm and to decide whether they want to be mothers or not.

It is because the definition of marriage in our society has been construed as a space where women need to be submissive, women are now avoiding it.

When they can be independent and free by being single, why would they choose suppression and submission in marriage? But even if marriage would have been about love and companionship alone, it would still not influence the decision of women who want to be single by choice.

Being single allows women the agency to decide what they want from their lives. It allows them the freedom to keep working without giving in to the pressure of taking care of their family. It allows them the freedom to be as involved in family-making as they want. Some single women choose to be mothers too by adopting kids or having kids by other means. Some single women also have companionships which are not committed relationships. It is just room partners supporting each other. When women can get money, independence, motherhood and companionship without marriage, why would they choose to get married?

Views expressed are the author's own.