Not like other girls. You are so dark but beautiful. You are so strong for a woman. We are told so many things in the garb of compliments but are they? Many of these are downright sexist comments. Here are 12 compliments that you should read more into!
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"You are not like other girls"
This tops the list. Being “different” is not really a compliment when all you wanted in your life is to be included as a part of the society as an equal. Besides, this only promotes stereotypes of how women are perceived by the society and their behaviours defined by it.
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"You're on time"
It is a common perception that a girl is never punctual since she has to take time to dress up or do her makeup. That’s true but that does not necessarily mean that we are always late. A lot of us women take hardly any time to dress up and be present at the exact time mentioned. Stop with this already.
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"You're so strong for a woman"
Yes, I am strong but for your absurd sense of judgement. Why do I need to be soft and tender always if I am a woman? I have a strong will and a powerful mind and I don’t take a shit at all. My gender doesn’t define my strength and weakness and neither should you. I am my own person with my own abilities.
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"You're my son"
No, mom and dad, I am not your son. I am your daughter who is equally efficient, capable and hardworking as your son is but I am not your son and I won’t be identified as one. Let me embrace my womanhood proudly without any regret of being a girl. Besides, I am more organised than him in many ways.
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"You handled it really well on your own"
I have the capability and mind to manage my work efficiently in a presentable manner. That’s the kind of employee I am and I ever aspired to be. My gender doesn’t define how I handle my job or do my work. So, yes I am good at my work and thank you for acknowledging that but underestimating my capabilities just because I am a woman just doesn’t work as a compliment.
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"You're too attractive to work here"
I might be good looking but that’s not why I was hired. I was hired for my brains and experience. I was hired because I had potential to help the company grow. My appearance has least to do with the work I do because I am here to make things happen and not walk a ramp walk.
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"How come still have that bond with her?"
Female friendships are somehow stereotyped for being unreliable and backstabbing since people find it hard to believe that two women can get along just fine. Contrary to this, female friendships are beautiful and nurturing. Female friends are your best critic and no.1 supporters and that’s a fact.
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"You're the prettiest of all women"
I am pretty and it’s great that you’re acknowledging that but don’t side-line other women for the sake of complementing me. All women are beautiful just as much. They are gorgeous for being themselves and each of them should be acknowledge for being beautiful in their own way. We’re not perfect, but we are beautiful for who we are.
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"How come you're so beautiful and intelligent?"
Why can’t I be beautiful AND intelligent? Why can’t I have good looks and a brain to use? My looks are a part of my appearance and my intelligence is a part of my personality. Beautiful women are often stereotyped for being “brainless bimbos” and that just tells what our society expects out of them. The society can’t accept the energy of a beautiful woman with a brain that she puts to use.
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Credit: Kaneez Surka
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"You don't need to work-out, you have a great figure"
I don’t need to work-out for your unwanted opinion. I work-out because it gives me confidence and control over my body and not to cater your male gaze. I work-out to remain fit and feel good about myself. I didn’t start to feed your ego and I don’t need to stop when your male desire has been fulfilled.
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"You're good at gaming being a girl"
Why does it come as a shock to people when girls are good at something that according to society, only boys can do? I am good at gaming because I have the skills and promptness. I don’t need to be a man to be good at something I like to do. Neither does it mean that I would be bad at gaming or sports just because I am a girl.
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"You look much better with makeup/you look much better without makeup"
Makeup is a choice. I don’t put makeup to impress someone other than me and neither do the opinions matter. I would put makeup if I like it and wouldn’t if I do not like it. It does not matter if I look good to you or not, what matters is my opinion of me.
(Views expressed by the author are their own.)
/shethepeople/media/agency_attachments/iUYfaBbcMozaYLoGnoov.png)
Who Says These 12 Things Are Compliments For Women?
Not like other girls. You are so dark but beautiful. You are so strong for a woman. We are told so many things in the garb of compliments but are they?
Not like other girls. You are so dark but beautiful. You are so strong for a woman. We are told so many things in the garb of compliments but are they? Many of these are downright sexist comments. Here are 12 compliments that you should read more into!
"You are not like other girls"
This tops the list. Being “different” is not really a compliment when all you wanted in your life is to be included as a part of the society as an equal. Besides, this only promotes stereotypes of how women are perceived by the society and their behaviours defined by it.
"You're on time"
It is a common perception that a girl is never punctual since she has to take time to dress up or do her makeup. That’s true but that does not necessarily mean that we are always late. A lot of us women take hardly any time to dress up and be present at the exact time mentioned. Stop with this already.
"You're so strong for a woman"
Yes, I am strong but for your absurd sense of judgement. Why do I need to be soft and tender always if I am a woman? I have a strong will and a powerful mind and I don’t take a shit at all. My gender doesn’t define my strength and weakness and neither should you. I am my own person with my own abilities.
"You're my son"
No, mom and dad, I am not your son. I am your daughter who is equally efficient, capable and hardworking as your son is but I am not your son and I won’t be identified as one. Let me embrace my womanhood proudly without any regret of being a girl. Besides, I am more organised than him in many ways.
"You handled it really well on your own"
I have the capability and mind to manage my work efficiently in a presentable manner. That’s the kind of employee I am and I ever aspired to be. My gender doesn’t define how I handle my job or do my work. So, yes I am good at my work and thank you for acknowledging that but underestimating my capabilities just because I am a woman just doesn’t work as a compliment.
"You're too attractive to work here"
I might be good looking but that’s not why I was hired. I was hired for my brains and experience. I was hired because I had potential to help the company grow. My appearance has least to do with the work I do because I am here to make things happen and not walk a ramp walk.
"How come still have that bond with her?"
Female friendships are somehow stereotyped for being unreliable and backstabbing since people find it hard to believe that two women can get along just fine. Contrary to this, female friendships are beautiful and nurturing. Female friends are your best critic and no.1 supporters and that’s a fact.
"You're the prettiest of all women"
I am pretty and it’s great that you’re acknowledging that but don’t side-line other women for the sake of complementing me. All women are beautiful just as much. They are gorgeous for being themselves and each of them should be acknowledge for being beautiful in their own way. We’re not perfect, but we are beautiful for who we are.
"How come you're so beautiful and intelligent?"
Why can’t I be beautiful AND intelligent? Why can’t I have good looks and a brain to use? My looks are a part of my appearance and my intelligence is a part of my personality. Beautiful women are often stereotyped for being “brainless bimbos” and that just tells what our society expects out of them. The society can’t accept the energy of a beautiful woman with a brain that she puts to use.
"You don't need to work-out, you have a great figure"
I don’t need to work-out for your unwanted opinion. I work-out because it gives me confidence and control over my body and not to cater your male gaze. I work-out to remain fit and feel good about myself. I didn’t start to feed your ego and I don’t need to stop when your male desire has been fulfilled.
"You're good at gaming being a girl"
Why does it come as a shock to people when girls are good at something that according to society, only boys can do? I am good at gaming because I have the skills and promptness. I don’t need to be a man to be good at something I like to do. Neither does it mean that I would be bad at gaming or sports just because I am a girl.
"You look much better with makeup/you look much better without makeup"
Makeup is a choice. I don’t put makeup to impress someone other than me and neither do the opinions matter. I would put makeup if I like it and wouldn’t if I do not like it. It does not matter if I look good to you or not, what matters is my opinion of me.
(Views expressed by the author are their own.)