Women Need To Stop Letting Self-Doubt Hijack Their Life Decisions

A lot of us women are affected by self-doubt to an extent that we end up giving it the agency to hijack our life choices. Unlike men, to whom confidence comes easily, women constantly undermine their own capabilities. This self-doubt and lower self-esteem are contributing factors when it comes to making inferior life choices or settling for lesser than what we actually deserve. Women start thinking less of themselves and let this feeling of feeling unworthy and undeserving take on them.

From who we chose to marry, to the pay-check we earn, self-doubt often makes women question their achievements and decisions. Do I deserve it? Am I worth it? What women need to ask themselves instead is, why not? I am hard working and talented, so why not demand a better paycheck or ask for better working conditions? I put so much effort to make my marriage work, so why not ask my husband to respect me?

We live in a world where one has to ask for respect, showcase their hard work and lay out clear demands so that one is seen, appreciated and rewarded. But often women refuse to raise their voices to demand what is rightfully theirs because self-doubt constantly asks them- are you sure?

In order to get rid of this self-doubt and take charge of our lives, women need to first understand its origins.

There are several reasons behind rising self-doubt in women:

Role Of Conditioning

Women are conditioned in a way that self-doubt literally comes as an obvious by-product. Since childhood, it is made clear to boys and girls what gendered roles are they expected to play. This leaves an everlasting imprint on women leading them to believe they are not capable of certain roles and thus they need to be exclusively played by men. This conditioning is the very reason that women set smaller career goals for themselves or stay out of workforce altogether as they feel they belong at home.

The Never Ending Expectations

Society has a long list of expectations when it comes to women and as a result we feel burdened to fulfill them. So long is the list that it seems impossible to achieve, at least in one life time. Naturally, women begin questioning their abilities when they fail to keep ticking off the expectations from that list. "Marrying early, having a child in 20s, prioritising home duties over career, caring for elderly in-laws, cooking for my family- if I am cutting corners or failing to fulfill any one of these duties, am I even as efficient as I think myself to be?" women might often wonder.

Suggested Reading: Self-Doubt Makes Women Build Fewer Networks Than Men: Study

Poor Self Image

Gender construction and the outlook of the society leads to women developing a poor image of themselves. The imposter syndrome is a common syndrome among women. According to a study 75 percent of women executives across various industries personally experienced imposter syndrome at certain points in their career. Imposter syndrome makes a woman doubt her achievements and self-worth, one of the reasons is that they are not surrounded by women in the niche space that they occupy. This makes their standing as a woman executive more of an anomaly or tokenism.

Picture by NewLoveTimes

The Fear Of Failure

The thought 'what if I fail' constantly haunts women. Women often risk their personal lives for the sake of profession gains and with each passing years what the risk that they have taken only seems to get bigger. This women begin to fear failure and its personal, professional and social consequences.

How to cope with self-doubt

It's high time women bid adieu to this self-doubt and start realising their worth. Everyone deserves love, praise, acknowledgment and whatever they wish for. Coping up with self-doubt can be a long journey but it's important to take up this trip. Some of the important methods women can deploy to help themselves overcome their self-doubt are:

Practice Self Love

Accepting yourself is one of the most important and primary thing to do when it comes to overcoming self-doubt, which generally perpetuates when you are low on self-love. Start accepting your bodies, your thoughts and yourselves as you are. Self-love is your key to override all the negative and undermining thoughts that you might have about your capabilities.

Seek For Help

Women often feel they should clamp up about their problems and try to deal with them on their own. Asking for is for the weak, isn't it? Wrong. Asking for help is for those who seek solutions and are practical enough to accept that to conquer some problems you need a helping hand or a fresh perspective and that will come only when you ask for it.

Stop telling yourself that you are unworthy

Realise you're worthy and spend time thinking about the things you have accomplished and the things you take pride in. Showcase your work and achievements with pride. Appreciate your talents and accomplishments without making comparisons or focusing on things that you’d like to change or which are bad.

What are some other things that you think women can do to overcome self-doubt? Write to us at stories@shethepeople.tv.

Views expressed are the author's own.