The entire world knows about the 'Bro Code' and this is the most hyped set of rules and regulations for male friends that are never ever to be broken. However, not many people talk about the rules of female friendships. Women too have some non-negotiable rules in friendship that are to be understood and not always stated.
Men follow the 'Bro Code' religiously, sometimes it is even more important for them than common law. They consider stalking acceptable but choosing their girlfriend over male friends is unacceptable. Female friendships too have some unspoken rules that are not to be broken at all. And these are not always about men. They are based on looking out for other women and supporting them and though they get represented in movies sometimes, they are still not much celebrated and emphasised. So, as an ode to female friendships around the world, here are some of the unspoken and non-negotiable rules of female friendships.
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5 Unspoken Rules Of Female Friendships
Don't Pressure Your Friends, Even If It Seems Insignificant
"Every time I said I couldn't come to a party or event, my friends would spend the next 2 days insisting that I "try" to come. It got to the point where I lied about having relatives or guests over so I didn't have to reiterate that I really couldn't come. Even then, I had to deal with my friends asking me to come anyway. It was nice to know that they wanted me there, but it would've been nicer if they didn't continuously hound me."
Ladies, it is important to understand availability does not depend on priority, women often find it difficult to get out of family situations. It can also be work or it can simply be that their social battery is low, always understand that it cannot always be a girls-day-out. Sometimes, the girl just needs to sit on her sofa in her pyjamas doing absolutely nothing. Join her or leave her out if she doesn't want to, trust me she is not going to be offended or feel excluded.
Don't Make Fun Of Your Existing Friends To Seem Cooler In Front Of New People
"My school friend once called me out for mispronouncing a movie name while we were talking to some boys in my class. I was embarrassed because I knew that I said it right but I couldn't question her because I didn't want to embarrass her. I found out that I was right all along and she did that too to seem cool in front of the boys."
Your female friends might not always be the coolest people around but they are your chosen family. Ditching them to fit into a cooler group of people is so not cool. They have been with you through thick and thin, you should not be embarrassed of the people who were with you even when you weren't popular or cool. You can always have different friend circles, you neither have to ditch your existing friends nor make fun of them to be validated by other cool friends of yours.
What if your friends have a funny accent, bad fashion sense or mispronounce some words, despite everything they were there for you on your worst days, never forget that you shared a special bond and you should not ditch it just because people might judge you for being with them.
No Judgment
No judgment does not mean you have to comply with any stupid thing your female bestie does. It just means you should understand their circumstances and feelings for taking some of the most objectionable decisions. You can advise them, give them a reality check or even openly communicate that you don't comply with their decisions but never judge them for that. They rely on you because they know no matter what happens, you will always be on their side. They might not follow your advice but they always need your support. You can sit together and judge other people, not that you should, but never judge each other, that's totally unacceptable in female friendships.
The same goes with back-bitching, never talk bad about your friend to others. Your friend might not be the best person you know but that does not mean you can talk behind their back. This is not applicable in a female friend group because you might discuss their bad decisions but you all should still stick together. If a female friend talks behind your back to strangers or friends outside your common circle, that's a friendship red flag and you should just end it with them.
There Is No Competition Among Friends
Healthy competition is allowed in friendships like competing for a position in school or work. Make sure you are fair and not at all toxic when it comes to competition that allows you to grow. Most importantly, no matter who wins, celebrate it like your own victory because your friendship is more precious. You can be envious but never be jealous of your friend's success. However, competing over a romantic interest or male attention is not acceptable. In female friend groups, it often happens that one friend gets more male attention than others and that is not something to be jealous of.
There should not be a point where you have to choose between friendship and love, they should go hand-in-hand. If you both like the same guy, let the guy choose. Don't make it a competition. The same goes for looks as well, you and your female friend have your own charms and beauty, never let male attention determine your attractiveness and never ever compete with your female bestie on that. It is not worth it. Always remember the golden rules of female friendships, 'Sisters before misters' and abide by it.
Never Date Your Friend's Ex
This is a really important rule that can save your friendship from getting completely ruined. Always know that no matter what happens, never ever date your friend's ex. Even if they separated on good terms or are respectful about the break-up, never go for the ex because it will make things awkward and messy. There will be misunderstandings that will affect your friendship as well as relationship. There are a lot of people you can date other than their ex because trust me, they don't want to see each other again under any circumstances.
On the other hand, if the breakup was messy, they might still have feelings for each other. Dating their ex will be painful for you as well as your friend. And trust me, if your friend's ex approaches you after their break-up with your friend, there might be a chance that he had his eyes on you while he was still with her which is even more problematic. Just maintain a safe distance from them so that you don't hurt your friendship because that is more important.
Views expressed by the author are their own
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