Why Ram Charan And Upasana Embracing Late Parenthood Shouldn't Be A Big Deal

As soon as a woman gets married, the question comes, "When are you becoming a mother?" As if the pressure to get married and settle in a new family was not enough, society forces women to embrace motherhood soon after marriage. Having a child is deemed the sole purpose of marriage. But shouldn't parenthood be a decision of the couple alone? Shouldn't newly married women focus on settling in before signing up for a new challenge? Shouldn't society encourage married women to make choices related to their bodies?

When I came across actor Ram Charan and his wife Upasana Konidela's pregnancy news, what attracted my attention was the 10-year gap between their &t=1158s" target="_blank" rel="noopener">marriage and first child. It is not common to have such a long gap in India. Society freaks out when there is more than a two-year gap between marriage and parenthood. It criticises the couple, especially the woman, for not fulfilling her duties. But why is it so difficult for society to consider the couple's choice? Why can't society wait until the couple is ready? Shouldn't they get to make a decision when they are prepared to become parents?

Ram Charan And Upasana Parenthood

Having a child right after marriage is not feasible for many couples in our society. Every couple has different expectations in life. While some prioritise investing time in building assets, careers and success before bringing a child into their lives, some are forced to delay pregnancy because of medical complications.

Society often burdens couples to embrace parenthood, which often results in hasty decision-making and unwanted pregnancies. Couples are forced to embrace parenthood at a time when they want to understand each other better, and this leads to a lack of mutual understanding, hence the lack of team spirit in raising a child. Other couples who want to earn assets before parenthood are forced to raise a child with wavering financial conditions. And the third group faces the worst scenario because they have to risk the woman's lives to rush through pregnancy.

We need to understand that couples are going to raise a child together, so they must be mentally, physically and financially ready for it. If a couple embraces parenthood without being ready for it, will society extend helping hands when the couple faces challenges? Will society help the couple with finances, paying hospital bills and solving recurring disputes? No, because our society believes that one should not interfere in husband and wife matters. 

Moreover, have we ever thought about the consequences that the child from an unwanted pregnancy will face? When parents are not ready, how will they give a good upbringing to the child? The conception that things automatically fall into place once a child comes into life is flawed. How can we risk a child's future by resting their upbringing on the fickle pillars of probability? Is having a child more important than giving it a good upbringing? Is having a child just a milestone to achieve or a lifetime investment that never ends?

Dear society, before forcing a couple to have kids, consider the consequences of unwanted pregnancy on the child and the couple. Stop shaming couples who take years to get ready for parenting. Let couples decide when they are fully ready to conceive and raise a child. If you think marriage and parenting problems are a couple's matter, then let the decision to embrace parenting be so too.

Views expressed are the author's own.