Quiet Quitting Relationships: Why Do People Stop Putting In Efforts?

Has your partner stopped putting in the minimum effort required to run a relationship? Are they forgetting useful occasions or avoiding you? Do you feel you are being a burden on your partner even though you are trying your best to not be? Maybe your partner is quiet quitting the relationship. They don’t want the relationship and yet don’t wanna be the ones initiating the break-up talk. But is it right to quiet quit relationships?

Relationships are defined by teamwork. A relationship exists or works only when two people in it are willing to contribute equally. However, when even a person calls quit or stops putting in the effort, the relationship reaches a pause. While it is very normal for relationships to get boring and stagnant, it is not always necessary to call quits. Partners can work on the relationship and try to make it interesting. But even for this, willingness, love and companionship are required. If any of these is missing, the edifice of the relationship scatters.

But when we talk about quiet quitting, the case is a bit different. Willingness, love and companionship-all these pillars of a relationship are missing in this case. However, the edifice still stands supportless but on the verge of disintegrating. One push and the relationship will end in a second. The only thing holding it up is the wait for the other partner to initiate the break-up talk.

Such relationships are toxic. Why? Because in these relationships, the person who quietly quits puts the partner in an utter dilemma. They are not able to understand whether the relationship is going any forward. When the partner is neither outrightly quitting nor putting any effort into the relationship, anyone can be confused about what should be the next step. The other partner will find themselves dealing with contradictory questions like- Should they initiate break-up talk? Or give their partner time to recuperate? Has the relationship reached its end or it has just become boring? Is the partner behaving differently because they don’t want the relationship or because they want something else from the relationship?

Is this fair? Is it right to subject any person to the vicious circle of deciphering doubts and confusions? Is it right to expect the other ">partner to understand the quiet treatment and initiate the break-up talk? Is it right to subject a partner to the negativities that arise out of silent treatment? Is it not possible that the partner begins blaming and doubting themselves for instigating the other partner to behave differently?

Silent treatment is never a good option to deal with situations or people in life. This only worsens the relationship by allowing the partners involved to react secretly to the problem. This secrecy is toxic because one will never know what thoughts or misunderstanding is breeding in their partner’s mind. The lack of honest conversation will intensify prejudices, misunderstandings and differences.

So what is the way out? Honest conversations. It is crucial for couples to have space for honest conversations. In situations like these, where one partner is done with sharing the responsibilities of a bond, open and clear confessions and discussions are the life savers. They not only help the partners know each other’s points of view and problems but also allow them to reach a decision mutually and peacefully.

So dear partners, it is okay if you want to walk out of a relationship. But it is not okay to give silent treatments to your partners. According to me, quiet quitting is a selfish way of dealing with problems in relationships. Just because a person doesn’t want to be the bad one initiating the break-up talk, they force their partner to face the negativities of the silent treatment. In fact, it should not be so difficult or bad to talk about relationship problems. It is only when partners talk that any relationship can reach a reconciliation. It is not easy to initiate the “we need to talk” conversations in relationships. But it is not as difficult and rude as quiet quitting. So talk, share your problems and reach a mutual decision rather than waiting for the day when your partner is fed up with your disinterest and silent treatments.

Views expressed are the author's own.