Planning To Get Back With Your Ex? 6 Reasons Why That Might Be A Bad Idea

"He is sorry", "I should forgive", "He said he will change, I should give him another chance", Probably not. Think it through with these reasons as to why you shouldn't get back with your ex.

The decision of breaking up with a person may hurt you for a few days, weeks or even months. And it is completely normal. Relationships, bonds, memories and feelings are hard to get over, naturally. So don't blame yourself. But in order to fill the void, don't look for others. Be a whole person, you haven't missed a part of yourself. You only miss the comfort and the sense of security you had with a person.

Often people can't remember the bad things about past relationships they long to revive. Violence, cheating, mental abuse, financial abuse and more is ignored by women and the cheesy lines and cute little things win the match. So don't, seriously don't forget why you left in the first place. And hopefully, these reasons would help you from going through the whole turmoil again:

1. They might take you for granted

When you go back to your ex partner after breaking up, due to any reason, it tells them that you aren't firm in your decisions. In case in the future you both were to break up again, they would assume you'd still come back. In a way, you aren't keeping respect for your own words and hence, even they would feel that your words aren't solid. Due to this, they may start taking you for granted.

Now, your partner can be excited and happy with the thought of you getting back. Or she/he may be the one who wants to get back. But this will still make a bad image about how much you value your decisions in their minds and your own.

2. Remember the toxic breakup

Often when you break up, it's for a solid reason that hurt you. You realised that your self-esteem is higher and decided to stop chasing a relationship. Now, after such a toxic breakup that made you sad for weeks, would you still want to go back to the person who caused it in the first place?

Also, if they say, "I have changed", "I'll never do that again" or other things which melt your heart and make you want to get, then remember that drastic changes don't occur in individuals that easily. In fact, your ex probably has not even realised his mistakes, they only want to get back the sense of love and comfort you had to offer when you were with them.

3. You might be the backup

I hate to say this. But it may be true in some cases. Sometimes, people get into relationships thinking that they'll leave that person once they find someone more attractive. These people might always jump for new opportunities and have no true feelings towards others. Such people when they break up and don't find anyone else, often tend to come back to their ex partners.

If you feel that your partner is constantly flirting with new people, hanging out with them and prioritising them over you, then it is an AWFUL idea to get back with this person. He/ She probably is keeping you as their backup if nothing works out. And trust me, you are MUCH more than just a backup.

Choose the people whose first option is you, not second, not third. You are special and you deserve to be someone's priority.

4. All issues never resolve

Many times, you break up because of one big issue which had several small issues around it. For example, your ex cheated on you. And now they promise to not see that third person again. But there were other small issues that irritated you and had piled up. Like not prioritising yourself over their friends, not giving you the space to be yourself, misusing your money, being jealous, not understanding consent in bed and being abusive in different ways like mental and physical. Woah! Those aren't small issues. But let's be truthful, you compromised when you shouldn't have.

Such issues never resolve. As they weren't the main cause of the breakup. And chances are when you get back with your partner, they would continue with their older self and never really take accountability for their actions.

5. The fear of being alone

If it has been some time since your breakup and you feel alone, when you feel like calling your toxic ex. HANG UP RIGHT NOW! You don't feel alone because someone isn't there in your life, you might feel alone because your past traumas need healing.

Your mind needs healing which can happen through self-growth, counselling and introspection. Hence, do not get back with your ex just to heal from the toxic break-up.

6. Getting back might be even worse than the toxic breakup

When you broke up, you liberated yourself from what was holding back your growth. Maybe picture it like this, someone stabbed you with a knife and now the knife is inside you. But you cant heal like this, so you pull out the knife with great force and pain. Pulling out the knife is the breakup, it will hurt, but you might eventually heal and survive.

Thinking about getting back with your ex, you are potentially stabbing yourself again in the wound. With the knife back in the wound, it will make more damage and never, in reality, bring you true healing.

According to a health report, a person needs four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance and 12 hugs a day for growth. So don't hold back from hugging your parents, pets, friends, teddy bears and pillows. Spread the love - for yourself, others and quit that toxic relationship.

The opinions expressed are the author's own.