Kissa Kursi Ka: Patriarchy Cannot Decide Where And How Should Women Sit

In the Banswara district of Rajasthan, there is an unspoken rule that forced women to sit on the ground. According to a video posted by the People’s Archive of Rural India. The men always sit up on chairs or cots, while the women sit on the ground, even if they are aged and ailing. This disparity applies for children as well; boys sit up and girls sit on the ground. When asked, they claimed that they are customarily bound to sit on the ground in the presence of men, elders, or anyone they perceive to be superior to them. When the women were asked to be photographed sitting on an elevated platform like a chair or cot, a few women cheerfully agreed. However, some of them needed a lot of persuasion and preparation.

This video made me wonder how deeply patriarchy is ingrained in those women that some of them are reluctant to sit on an elevated platform even for a moment. In today’s world where women are reaching unimaginable heights, it is disheartening to know that there is still a section of women who believe that they are inferior to men.

A personal experience

When I visited my father’s birthplace in the interior of Tamil Nadu more than a decade ago, I noticed most women sitting on the floor even though they weren’t asked to. This arises from the internalised patriarchal belief that women must sit on the floor while men sit on elevated platforms like sofas, chairs, or cots. Right from childhood, they were taught to sit on the floor when men were around. I also saw a few women sitting on chairs, but many of them instinctively sat on the ground. This was rather surprising to me as a 17-year-old, who had grown up in a city.

Patriarchy deciding where women should sit

Back in the days when men began stepping out to provide for the family, women stayed back as homemakers. This established a gender role and created a hierarchy between the two genders. Since ancient times, men, as the providers and protectors, have held positions of power, authority, and supremacy while women remained dependent on them for their needs and survival.

If we go back and take a look at the photographs of our ancestors, the men will be sitting in a chair with their legs crossed while the women will either be standing beside them or sitting on the ground. Even the photos of my great-grandparents prove the same. When I discussed this topic with my grandmother before writing this piece, she said that she had never seen her mother or aunts sit on the same plane as the men in their families. During her childhood, she and her sisters were taught not to sit in the presence of their father.

This is basically powerplay. In a patriarchal society like ours, women are taught from childhood that they are inferior to men. This concept is not only propagated by men, but many women are also flagbearers of patriarchy. But how can women willfully accept being the submissive gender? Patriarchy is so deeply internalised in some women that even today, regardless of the progressive changes in the world, they perceive themselves to be inferior to men.

Men sitting on a higher plane than women signify that they are in command. It symbolises that men are more powerful, dominant, and supreme than women. It is a way of indirectly telling women that their place is below men. Calling a spade, a spade, I would say this practice of women being custom bound to sit on the floor in the presence of men is a symbolic representation by patriarchy that women’s place is at a man’s feet. The prevalence of this custom in today’s society is something that we need to be ashamed of. Though patriarchy is prevalent in all sections of society, this only shows that the rural regions are facing much more inhumane oppression when compared to people who live in urban regions.

It is up to us, the millennials and Gen-Zers, to smash the patriarchy and achieve gender equality across the country. It is the responsibility of the youngsters in rural areas to educate people about these regressive practices and create an equal society for all.

Suggested Reading: Dear Women, Let Us Build Each Other Up And Topple Patriarchy

Views expressed by the author are their own.

The feature images are by Nilanjana Nandy, who captured them as a part of her story for PARI Network.