Moving In With Malaika: Should Women Choose To Be Black Sheeps More Often?

The Malaika Arora show Moving in with Malaika premiered its first episode recently. In the episode, she revealed in a conversation with Farah Khan about her marriage and relationship with her former spouse Arbaaz Khan. 

Arora said: "I got married very early, very young. I wanted to get married because I just wanted to get out of the house, Farah. Believe it or not Farah, I'm the one who proposed." This hits immediately. Just like Arora a lot of women use marriage as an escape, it helps them step out of their own houses. A disillusioned sense of liberty is created, till the woman realises that stepping from one regime into the other only clips her wings. 

 Moving in with Malaika Talks About Marriage & Falling Out Of Love

Women are discouraged from exploring the world from a very young age. They are told it's a dangerous thing for a lady to do things on her terms. A woman is expected to derive her sense of worth from the exposure that her family of origin allows her. In Indian society, women are encouraged to have a man by their side, either their father or her spouse, to legitimise their external surveys. The kind of exposure women get, they make the most out of it. If exposure is this limited, how she is supposed to choose the best? Something like marriage seems a valid and easily available option to end the trouble. They are unaware of what this transition in life has for them ahead. Atleast once in a lifetime, you might have heard, 'Shaadi Kar Leti Hua, Pati Ke Yaha Itne Problem Nahi Honge'. But this is not how it works, who knows this may be a start to something else, from where escape becomes formidable. 

Society conditions women to depend on others for a sense of security. Women are told that they will be 'allowed' to realise their dreams after marriage on the condition that they are ideal wives and caregivers. Therefore, women run from the autocratic regimes at home in the hope of a better future. But many of them often find themselves running from one patriarchal, dictatorial regime to another, after marriage. The promises that are made before marriage, where women are 'allowed' to fulfill their dreams, are not met. They are told that exploring their dreams is not an option as it might make them a 'bad wife' or a 'poor daughter-in-law'. 

It takes a while for women to break free of the 'good girl' conditioning and overthrow hegemonies. As audacious as that sounds, it need not always be loud. Breaking free is different for everyone. Some women enjoy making some noise in the process and others enjoy a quieter process. However, both have the same end goal and are to be equally respected. For Arora 'breaking free' came through marriage. She and Arbaaz Khan had been married for 18 years before they decided to part ways. Over the years they drifted away and fell out of love with each other. They were bitter with each other towards the end and that is when Malaika felt that her marriage had run its course. 

Arora felt that she was missing her space, and the only way she could move on was to evolve from certain ties. Today she feels liberated and shares that she's far better as a person for it. Many of us, who married to be set free at a certain point might have felt the same way. Be it Arora or any other woman divorce is not a cakewalk. In fact, Arora herself in an interview said, "divorce is never an easy decision for a woman". She was initially advised against it. However, she mustered the courage to do what felt right to her. For everyone out there, it is not an option. Few keep enduring the consequences of a decision made in a hope of better life. So, making little noise is more effective than just giving in to an easy temporary solution. Marriage must be on the table only when you are ready, not because the situation demands. 

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