Motherhood And Self-Care: Why Is Alone Time Important For Young Mothers?

In patriarchal societies like India, the perception of an ideal mother is someone who sacrifices, adjusts, compromises, nurtures, and dedicates her life to her family. This is how our mothers and grandmothers have been, and this is what has been imparted to us. But are we going to pass on the same ideology to the next generation?

Isn’t it our duty as mothers to teach our children that a woman doesn’t lose her individuality when she becomes a mother? And to do that, we need to prioritise taking care of ourselves. Me-time is therefore essential for mothers. It might seem difficult given our hectic schedules, but it is not impossible. Read along to know the importance of me-time for mothers.

Mothers And Self-Care: Why is it important?

 It makes us better mothers.

Only if we, as individuals, are happy, energetic, and positive can we be productive, resourceful, and enthusiastic mothers. No child wants to see a grumpy, exhausted, and unkempt mother around the clock. Yes, we all have our bad days, and that’s completely normal. That’s what makes us humans, but not every day can be a bad day, can it? If we don’t care for ourselves, our inner hulk won’t stay dormant for long.

It is important for our well-being.

If we exhaust ourselves caring for our children, one day it will take a toll on our physical and/or emotional health. And that is going to hit our children really hard. It’s better to take a 30-minute break from parenting every day than to take a long leave of absence. Remember, only happy and healthy mothers can raise happy and healthy children.

We are still individuals.

I know that it feels like we are just mothers now, especially stay-at-home mothers. Yes, being a mother is incredibly important and a herculean responsibility, but we are more than that. Before becoming mothers, we were individuals with a career, passion, dreams, hopes, and hobbies. They are still there, and it’s us that have put them to sleep. It is vital that we continue to pursue them and keep ourselves happy because we deserve it. Regardless of what anyone says, that makes us no less of the excellent mothers that we are.

Children grow up.

As the saying goes, babies grow up in the blink of an eye. A decade or so down the line, what are our plans? Our babies will soon be teenagers, and then adults, who will no longer require our constant attention. If we fail to do anything other than parent, then we might feel lost, lonely, and purposeless. So, we need to keep doing something for ourselves, no matter how trivial it is. One day in the future, that might keep our handful busy and maybe even generate an income or even inspire others.

We are teaching them self-love and self-worth.

Watching us prioritise ourselves and take time to indulge in activities that make us happy will teach them the importance of self-love and self-worth. It will teach them to value us as individuals instead of just perceiving us as mothers. It will make them realise that we value ourselves as much as we value them, and that is a very significant lesson.

How to make me-time happen?

• We need to allot at least 30 minutes every day for ourselves and make it a priority to get it done unless something of higher importance comes up.
• Me-time should be consistent, so we need to plan it according to our schedule.
• Babies and toddlers need monitoring, so we have to choose a trustworthy person to take care of them during our me-time. If that isn’t possible, we can schedule me-time during our child’s nap hour or independent playtime.
• Don't consider the extra few minutes that we spend in the parking lot or chatting with fellow mothers at parks as me-time. Me-time is something that we do exclusively for ourselves to make us happy.

Regardless of what we do, the goal is that it should make us happy and rejuvenated. Me-time is all ours, both physically and mentally. So, it’s important that we don’t let our thoughts wander. The children are going to be fine, the housework can wait, and it’s okay to take a break from work. Remember that taking me-time doesn't make you a bad or selfish mother. It's going to be worth it for us and our family.

Views expressed by the author are their own.

Suggested Reading: Why Mothers Never Seem To Have Enough Time To Themselves