Is The Way Moms Are Treated At Home Putting Women Off Motherhood?

Motherhood is a special feeling. It is the phase of life in which a woman undergoes many transformations, be it in her body or in her day-to-day life. Yes, there is a bit nervousness of about whether things are going right or not but mostly pregnancy is all about excitement, love and care. But as soon as a child is born, things change. Excitement is replaced by a sense of immense responsibility with no option to fail at your duties as a mom. Also, the way a pregnant woman is treated by her family is drastically different from the treatment she receives as a mother, long after she gives birth. This treatment could actually be the reason why many young women today do not want to embrace motherhood.

In our society, mothers are hailed as goddesses and yet treated as servants. They become goddesses for creating a new life, a male heir and a new generation. Women who produce a male child are treated differently and achieve a special status in society. But this status isn't enough to protect them from scrutiny. Mothers in our society are blamed when children go wrong but they are never praised when they achieve something. After being mothers, women are expected to give up their career, desires and even their health and devote themselves completely to caring for the kids. Even though men are equally responsible to take care of the kids, the responsibility of parenting falls on mothers only. Their personal life, choices and likings gradually fade away.

Motherhood in India: A tightrope

After making these many sacrifices in life, a mother is still scrutinised when she chooses to focus on her health and career. A mother who thinks about her health or runs behind her career is shamed for being irresponsible. So even though a woman gains a new role in her life by embracing motherhood, she loses many others, which played a big role in giving meaning to her life.

In such a scenario, why will any woman want to sacrifice her life by being a mother? Why will any woman want to be overwhelmed by the responsibilities at home so much that they have to give up their ambitions?

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Moreover, the pressure to become mothers immediately after marriage is also a reason why many women avoid it. As soon as women get married they are pestered to be a mother to fulfil the purpose of their existence. They are not even given the time to decide whether they really want to go down that road or not. Everyone assumes that the next step after marriage is pregnancy.

On the other hand, women who become mothers out of wedlock are not only excommunicated but their children too have to struggle for acceptance in family and society. Motherhood is considered good only if it happens "legitimately" that is when a woman conceives after getting married.

Hence motherhood in our society is equal to walking on a tightrope- it is only praised and supported when it happens in a way society approves of it. One wrong step destroys everything that a woman has built for herself, and this threat is something that she has to endure lifelong.

But it is not fair that women resent motherhood just because of the way our society treats moms. Motherhood is a choice that every woman should be able to make for herself, however, society's harsh attitude is playing a big deterrent and negatively influencing this choice.

Women are individuals with rights and freedom to choose. They can be mothers and live their life the way they want. So if society wants more women to embrace ">motherhood, it needs to scrap the idea of "perfect" mothers and be all inclusively, extending support and recognition to single, divorced or working moms as well.

Views expressed are the author's own.