No More Fake Appreciation Please. Help Men Improve Their Cooking Skills

Accept it. When men cook we tend to appreciate them for just holding the wok in their hand. And when women cook, we try to criticise them for even lacking a pinch of salt in the food. But how long are we going to let the mindset create unreasonable expectations for women?

We are okay with the crappy food the man makes but would criticise a woman for the same errors. This unequal reaction to when men and women cook is deeply rooted in our patriarchal mindset. But how long are we going to let patriarchy shroud our decisions?

In our society, it is yet not common for men to walk into the kitchen, let alone cook a meal. If they volunteer to just make a cup of tea for themselves, they are projected as sous chefs. And then no matter how badly brewed the tea is, the man is appreciated for just walking into the kitchen. Why do we have such different yardsticks for men and women?

About Time Men Improve Their Cooking Skills

Let me ask you a question, do you appreciate women if they do a man’s job - like going out and earning? No, you would rather criticise them for being defiant or not good enough at their job. Every mistake of theirs is pointed out to discourage them from being the ‘man’. Then why such different parameters for men and housework?

First, let us accept that housework is not a woman’s job only. It is a life skill that every human, irrespective of their gender, must know and be good at. Cooking and cleaning are important for the survival of a person. It is a skill needed to be independent and strong.

Second, if we keep giving false appreciation to men then how will they ever improve? How will men start to work on their cooking skills? It is undeniable fact that men are rarely taught to cook. And this is the reason why many of them are not good at it. But in today’s world where every human is learning to be on their own, is it fair to not help men improve their cooking?

Yes, patriarchy has conditioned our upbringings. It is our duty to change that as much as possible. And in this case, it is our duty to ask and help men pick up skills like cooking, cleaning and managing a house.

I am not saying that it is not applaudable that a man overcomes his patriarchal conditioning  but to call their crappy food good just because they are not used to cooking is not fair. We are doing them an injustice by appreciating their tasteless food because one day they will have to eat and survive on the same. The pandemic saw urban Indian men spending a lot more time in the kitchen. It was an eye-opener for many in terms of the quantum of chores that needed to be done when you stay at home. While women have been owning the workspaces with elan it is time men show the same gesture at home.

We need to get rid of the stereotype that men can earn well but not cook while women can cook well but not earn. Earning and cooking are basic survival skills. And both men and women should be good at them or at least be taught to be so. It's about time that grandmothers, mothers, sisters and aunts take the charge and change the status quo.

The views expressed are the author's own.