Marry Your Rapist? Why This Is Not A Solution To Curb Crime

Rape and sexual assault is so common place in India that I shudder to think that many are just letting it pass as 'news' in a mind numbing way. Sometimes as women too, we have learnt to internalise it. Being molested on buses, or groped at a party are considered part of our 'experience'. But recently I read something that totally shocked me - that women should marry their rapist.

When I asked around, some elders told me, they often come across families and communities that get a woman married to the man who raped her. Do you remember the movie Raja Ki Aayegi Baraat? The lead woman, played by Rani Mukherji, was married to the man who brutally raped her.

Marry Your Rapist?

Recently a woman in the northern part of Odisha married the man who raped her because there was “no other option”. Another shocking case was reported in Delhi where a woman who married her rapist was pushed down to death by her husband. In our society, when a woman is raped, it is assumed that her izzat has been mutilated. That she is no longer valid to live with respect and happiness. No one accepts her in marriage. She is blamed for ‘attracting’ the man and encouraging him by stepping out, wearing ‘indecent’ clothes and whatnot.

But is marriage really a solution to rape? Can marriage reduce the increasing number of cases of rape and sexual harassment?

It is our fault to assume that people rape those they are attracted to or in love with.

People with a rapist mindset don’t feel love or attachment, because if they did, they won’t mutilate the person to death. Rape happens purely out of unequal gender dynamics. A father rapes his daughter. An uncle rapes his niece. A husband can rape his wife. Then how can rape be a consequence of love?

Stranger Involvement In Rape Cases

In fact, our definition of love itself is flawed. For many love is all about sex. While for others, love takes a woman’s consent for granted. It is because of this conception that marital rapes are not seen as crimes. Or men who are jilted in love harass their ‘beloveds’ to death. Just imagine, if marrying the rapist is the law, wouldn’t men feel free to rape the women they like to marry without their consent?

So dear society, love and marriage are not reasons or solutions for rape. Rape is a crime that is committed by a criminal mindset that doesn’t see the other person as an individual with the right to respect and safety. It is high time we understand that no bond can purge the feeling of being invaded, mutilated and eventually killed.

Only strict rules and proper implementation of laws can help in reducing rape as an infectious crime subjugating women. Victim-blaming, marrying a woman to her rapist should be completely banned because this just encourages crimes.

Views expressed are the author's own.

Suggested Reading: Any Touch That Makes Women Uncomfortable Is Sexual Harassment. Period.