Dear Society, I Have Bigger Concerns Than My Marriage

Marital pressure on women begins the day a girl crosses the legal age of marriage in India and in worse cases it starts even before that. Society keeps telling them that their ultimate goal in life is getting married but is it the only thing that is important in a woman's life?

Once a girl crosses 21 years of age, her family starts grooming her to become a good wife and daughter-in-law to her future family. To be honest, the training starts much early when the girl can't even decide what colour she likes the best. Society keeps telling her what she needs to do and what not after getting married. From looking for a prospective groom at other people's weddings and gatherings to teaching the girl the workings of a household, society leaves no stone unturned when it comes to getting a girl married.

Nobody thinks of the girl's choice of what she wants to do. What are her career dreams, whether she wants to get married or not. Marital pressure on women neglects the basic idea of choice. However, there are families who 'allow' their daughters to get a job and secure her future but they too think that she needs to get married some or the other day. Why is it that we are still so hung up on a women's marriage when there are bigger concerns for her to deal with?

Marital Pressure Of Women: Concern Other Than Marriage

Marital pressure on women is no joke. It is a constant pain in the neck since the day you attain adult age. But has anyone ever tried to look beyond it and take a view of the bigger picture? There are things other than marriage that are much more important in a woman's life. First and foremost, her education. Studies and examinations are a major concern for women as they need to secure a better future. From graduation, masters, PhD to competitive exams, she has a lot to stress about other than putting a ring on someone's finger or deciding what outfit she will wear on her wedding.

Finding a job before even thinking about marriage is must for many women. Women don't study day and nights just to cook food and serve tea to gossiping in-laws. They have career goals and dream jobs that they are passionate about. From interview preparations to applying for firms, the data is already too much to handle and a wedding guest list is the last thing on her mind.

There is a weird obsession of desi aunties with career women. They just can't bear a woman in her 20's and 30's working really hard to grab a promotion. They definitely don't know how hard it is to wake up and go to work everyday and the pressure that women face at workplaces. Workload, extra shifts, issues with boss and pending deadlines do not leave enough time to take care of ourselves, how are we supposed to confirm a full time commitment like marriage? We can't even commit to what we will be having for lunch today or if we will have to skip breakfast again the next day.

Why can't we ask her if she even wants to get married? Maybe she doesn't want a relationship, maybe she is exploring, maybe she doesn't like boys, maybe she already had someone but is not yet ready to commit unless she is certain. There are a million other dilemmas that go on in the minds of women and it is hardly about marriage.

Instead of putting marital pressure on women, it is better for us to try and understand their concerns and the pressure that they live under everyday. The desire of getting good grades, the efforts of sticking to the time table, the pressure of her boss at work, the anxiousness of doing her best everyday, the desire to become better at everything she does. Women clearly do not have it easy, why trouble them more by pushing for ">marriage ?

Views expressed by the author are their own. 

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