Man Calls Off Wedding Over Receiving Old Furniture As Dowry; Why This Entitlement?

In shocking but not surprising news, a Hyderabad man called off his wedding, alleging that he had received "old furniture" as dowry. The groom, who is identified as Mohammad Zakeer, 25, works as a bus driver and was supposed to marry Heena Fatima, 22, on Sunday. However, the groom and his family did not turn up to the wedding, leading to the bride’s father registering a police complaint. In the complaint, he alleged that the groom’s father misbehaved with him and demanded more dowry when he had gone to talk to them.

According to the police, the groom’s family had demanded furniture along with other items as dowry, but when they found out that the furniture was old, they called off the wedding. A case under relevant sections of the IPC and Dowry Prohibition Act has been registered, and investigations are ongoing. The audacity the groom and his family possess is baffling. But is it uncommon in India?

Man Cancels Wedding Over Dowry

Despite dowry being deemed illegal by the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961, why is it still largely practised in the country? Truth be told, having stringent laws is pointless if society is drowning in patriarchal practices. As long as the bride's family is willing to give a dowry, they are allowing the groom's family to rightfully demand dowry.

Why is dowry still normalised in India? Both the bride's and groom’s families boast about dowries. The bride’s parents proudly boast about how much they have spent on their daughter’s wedding and how much they "gifted" their son-in-law, while the groom’s family proudly showcases how much dowry the new bride has brought along with her. With the rising number of dowry harassment and dowry death cases, families have become smarter than mafia gangs at discussing dowry using code words.

Truth be told when the groom’s family says, "We don’t want anything, but she is your only daughter, and everything you have is for her. Do whatever you wish." This translates to "We are expecting a hefty dowry." If the groom has a sister, his family would boast about how much they spent on their daughter’s wedding, indirectly indicating that they are expecting the same from the bride’s family.

The majority of the bride’s families accept dowry demands without realising that today's dowry demands will turn into dowry harassment tomorrow and one day might turn into dowry deaths. In India, 20 women are killed every day in dowry-related crimes. According to data from National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), a total of 35,493 dowry deaths took place in India between 2017 and 2021. Most Indian families don’t understand the repercussions and just believe that their daughters will be happy if they provide the demanded dowry.

Furthermore, exchanging dowries is a tradition that our society has not yet broken, regardless of how financially independent the bride and groom are. Despite the fact that the dowry system is a punishable offence under the law, society is deeply ingrained in tradition. This patriarchal mindset, combined with age-old customs and beliefs, gives the groom's family the audacity to demand dowry both during and after marriage.

In the aforementioned case, the bride’s family should have never agreed to give dowry in the first place. It's easier said than done, but their acceptance to give dowry led to the groom’s family going to the extent of calling off the wedding at the last minute. On a positive note, this is good riddance. The bride would have definitely not been happy in that greedy family. But not every bride gets a heads-up like this.

Let this serve as a reminder to break the dowry system. The groom's family will demand as long as the bride's family is willing to give. The dowry system will be eradicated only when every bride’s family decides that they are not obligated to pay the groom to marry their daughter.

Suggested Reading: ‘Hum Dulhe Ko Kharid Rahe Hai’: Dear Parents This Doesn’t Justify Dowry