Why Do Some Indian Men Still Suffer From Mama's Boy Syndrome?

Are most Indian men affected by Mama’s Boy Syndrome? Let’s get some facts straight. A man who respects his mother loves her, and takes care of her is not a mama’s boy but rather a responsible man. Mama’s boys are men who don’t even know their basic responsibilities because they’ve been overly pampered by their mothers. They don’t have a voice of their own, cannot stand up for themselves or their partner, and rely on their mothers to make decisions and handle challenging situations. Does it sound like someone you know?

Unfortunately, mama’s boys are quite common in India due to the patriarchal upbringing in our society. In many families, mothers literally "serve" their sons. Sons are the centre of the universe for mothers. Mothers just drop everything to fetch a glass of water for their sons.

No matter how old he becomes, mothers put up with their son’s tantrums and never give him the opportunity to learn, grow, and be independent.

Are Indian Men Mamas Boys?

From offering the last slice of chocolate to the son instead of the daughter to investing more in the son’s education than the daughter's, mothers always bestow the best of everything on their son. Thus, boys never learn to take responsibility and are internalised with a patriarchal mindset. They grow up into misogynistic men who are accustomed to being in their comfort zones.

Such men are used to feeling entitled and superior, and hence can never see a woman as their equal and can never take no for an answer, especially from a woman. To them, a woman’s most important job in the universe is to cater to a man’s needs. If you ever wonder why many men just cannot get over their misogynistic mindset, it is because they were never taught that it was wrong. Equality is an alien concept to them.

So why do mothers do this? It’s not that mothers fail to parent their sons in the right way. The problem is that Indian mothers love their sons so much that they are extremely possessive of them. This basically stems from the fact that sons are the ones who will take care of their parents during their old age, while daughters get married and go off to "their home." So mothers make sure their sons are well taken care of, and while doing so, they spoil their sons rotten! No offence, but that’s the bitter truth.

As a result, men aka ">raja betas become highly demanding and arrogant and don’t respect women, including their mothers. Because all along, mothers let their sons take advantage of them. From cooking for him, doing his laundry, organising his wardrobe, and cleaning his bathroom, mothers do everything. When a mama's boy gets married, the wife, who expected an equal partner, gets a man-child instead. And when a mama's boy's needs are not met, when he is forced to get out of his comfort zone, and when the situation gets "tough," he runs to his mama, because mama is his comfort zone. When mothers enter the equation, the relationship between a man and his partner begins to degrade for obvious reasons.

Mothers need to realise that it’s okay to love their sons unconditionally, but at the same time, it’s vital to raise them to be independent.

Boy mamas need to educate boys on respect, consent, and boundaries. Mothers might be concerned, "What if he becomes independent and doesn’t need me anymore?" "What if he moves on with his life and leaves me at an old age home?"

Fear not, because raising self-sufficient boys is only going to make them more responsible and grounded men. These men will know how to balance their personal lives and their relationships with their mothers. So, it's high time that mothers stop obsessing over their sons and stop smothering them with their love.

Suggested Reading: Can Mama’s Boys Be Good Husbands?