SC Claims Most Divorces Arise From Love Marriages: What Guarantees Success In Arranged Marriages?

A Supreme Court bench comprising Justices BR Gavai and Sanjay Karol was hearing a transfer petition in a matrimonial dispute. After the counsel informed the bench that the couple had a love marriage, Justice Gavai stated, "Most divorces arise from love marriages only," according to a report by Bar & Bench. The bench finally directed the couple to mediation.

There is already a misconception in society that most love marriages end in divorce. Our society generally assumes women who fall in love to be characterless, uncultured, rebellious, etc., and women who agree to marry the man of their parents’ choice as "good girls."

We sing praises of Anarkali-Salem, Heer Ranjha, etc., but Indian families cannot stand their children, especially their daughters, falling in love. Ironic, isn’t it? Arranged marriages are largely considered the social norm and are perceived as successful marriages, considering that families are involved.

Love Marriage End In Divorce

But if we really think about it, the success of a marriage depends on the compatibility of the couple and how they choose to navigate through the challenges of life together. Why is that so difficult to understand? Love is just an emotion that’s uniting a couple, and that could either be in an arranged marriage setting or a couple could have organically fallen in love. Either way, love is one of the most important factors that hold a marriage together. So why is love in a love marriage blamed for divorce?

Chennai-based psychologist Aisha explains that divorce is not a failure but only a closure to a failed marriage. "There are many married couples living under the same roof wanting to kill each other, not speaking to each other, being in extramarital affairs, being scared to get divorced because families are involved, so much money is spent on the marriage, and due to social stigma," she said.

Our country has the lowest divorce rate at merely 1%, but that’s not a guarantee that all married couples are happy together. "Technically, a higher divorce rate indicates that there are more healthy marriages," said psychologist Aisha.

Back in the day, women were forced to stay in unhappy or toxic marriages due to various factors such as financial dependency, family honour, children, social stigma, etc. However, today's women are well-educated and independent enough to lead self-sufficient life on their own. Modern women are also awake enough to value their happiness, peace, and safety over sacrificing their lives for others. Aisha highlighted that since the taboo around divorce is gradually receding one step at a time, more women are opting for divorce instead of staying imprisoned in irretrievably broken-down marriages.

Is there statistical data to support the statement that most love marriages end in divorce as the Supreme Court stated? What is the evidence to prove that all arranged marriages are fairy tales?

"I was married to a man chosen by my parents. I knew we were quite different, but then my parents forced me into the marriage. After five years, I’ve finally developed the guts to walk out of an abusive marriage. I’ve decided to prioritise myself over my family’s advice," said a 29-year-old IT professional who has recently separated from her spouse.

A 30-year-old auditor said that both of her arranged marriages ended in divorce. "I was married off very early. My first marriage barely lasted for a year, and my second lasted for a couple of years. But I was never happy, as both were toxic in different ways. It took a toll on my emotional health, and rebuilding my life has been extremely challenging. But I’m glad I stood up for myself despite social norms."

Instead of blaming love marriages for leading to divorce, society needs to accept that it’s okay for couples to go for divorce if their marriage is beyond repair.

No one other than the couple is living their daily lives, and only they know what is going wrong with their marriage. Whether it's a love marriage or an arranged marriage, no one deserves to live in an unhappy or toxic relationship. It’s high time society normalised divorce instead of blaming love marriages.

Suggested Reading: Why I Welcome SC’s Decision To Waive Six-Month Waiting Period For Divorce

Views expressed by the author are their own