Aishwarya Rai Bachchan Dances With Daughter, But Why Is It Irking Trolls?

Can you imagine your father or mother giving you a peck? I am not talking about newlyborn kids. I am talking about teenagers and adults. Is there a way in which parental love should be expressed? Or do we have a distorted understanding of intimacy?

Recently, I came across two cases in which parents were shamed for kissing their kids. First was Bollywood actor Aishwarya Rai Bacchan, who was trolled for kissing her daughter Aradhya on her lips during her birthday. And second, was American Footballer Tom Brady who was trolled for kissing his teenage son Jack on the neck and posting an picture with him. Both were shamed for their “indecent” expressions of love. Some even went to the extent of labelling their affection as gay.

Is it not shocking?

Love and social norms, Parents must be strict?

The first question that arises is who are you to decide how a parent should express their love? Isn’t that a matter of the parent and the child? If the child is comfortable, why should society have a problem with that?

A new video circulating on social media captured a heartwarming moment between Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and her daughter, Aaradhya, as they danced together at an event. However, the video also sparked a wave of online backlash aimed at the actor. Critics on social media platforms expressed their sentiments, with some suggesting that Aishwarya should allow her daughter to have her own space. The comments varied, but there was a general sentiment from some users indicating discomfort with the mother-daughter dance.

In our society, parental love is enclosed in the jar of social norms. It is assumed that parents should be too strict and unsympathetic to show their love openly. Of course, there is love but is expected to be a secret so that kids do not become used to it and hence a bit prodigal. I remember how my parents used to tell me about the strictness of their parents. My grandfather used to scold my father so much that he was too scared to say anything to him. My father’s childhood was spent seeking one moment when his father hugged him. Whereas my mother, being a girl, was forced to do housework more than her studies. Her parents were more concerned about her marriage and her training as a housewife. My mother wanted to study and move ahead in life but her entire childhood went into serving her brother and parents.

I am sure I am not the only one who has witnessed such an unsympathetic relationship between parents and children. Even today, many people are scared of their parents more than they love them. But is it necessary to normalise such kind of relationship? Is it necessary for parents to be too strict to give a hug to their kids? Why do we normalise the fact that there can be no understanding between parents and kids? Will this not deepen the generation gap that already exists?

A distorted understanding of intimacy

Another reason why parental love is seen as indecent is our distorted understanding of intimacy. We have set up standards of intimacy for certain relationships. This reminds me of an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S in which Rachel finds it ‘indecent’ when her crush down the hall is too intimate with his sister. Taking bath together, sleeping next to each other and more scares Rachel off. But was it really weird or did social norms make it look so?

In Indian society, it is still abnormal for grown-up sisters and brothers to sleep next to each other. I am never allowed to sleep next to my cousin who is a year older than me. Similarly, when parents express love and that too in the way couples do, society freaks out. But I have a question. Who decides these standards of intimacy? Who decides whether a particular kiss is parental or not? Who sets the limit to which a parent must show love for their kids?

Importance of consent and sex education

I believe any sort of intimacy between two people is valid until there is informed consent. I am totally against the idea of parents or relatives kissing kids without asking them or seeking their consent. In every form of intimacy, there should be consent. It is only consent that decides whether a particular intimacy is valid or not.

Some would ask me how a kid can understand whether intimacy is descent or not. Some would even ask if sexual relationships are normal between blood relatives. To them, my question is that why don’t we normalise teaching kids about consent? Why don’t we teach them about sex? If we do, they will automatically understand whether they want such relationships with their blood relatives or not.

So dear society, stop dictating love and start accepting the different forms of it. Love is not just about sexual relationships between couples. It is also about affection between parents and kids and other family members. There is no definition of love because it is a subjective term and everyone has the right to define it as per their own wish. I love you is not a term, it's an expression.

Views expressed are the author's own.