How Women Judge Other Women For Not Having Children

Society is always critical of women who choose not to have children soon or even years after marriage. They shame them for not thinking about their family and their own age and being selfish. However, what makes things worse is when other women judge such women too.

The world always talks about sisterhood and women standing up for women. However, in reality, women are often one of the worst critics of other women. We blame the patriarchy and men for creating a system that oppresses women and doesn't give them their rights but we forget that the people who follow such absurd notions also include women. Women, who are expected to understand the dilemma and struggles of their own community, tend to impose these problematic notions on others and deprive them of the support they need. Similar judgement is passed when women choose to not have children and the first ones to taunt are the neighbour aunties, aka, women.

Suggested Reading: Reddit Thread Discuss: Why Are Hyperfeminine Women Not Taken Seriously?

Judging Women For Not Having Children

A Reddit thread asked the question, "Do you feel like if you do not have kids or have chosen not to have kids that other women treat you differently?" the user told that she was in her mid-30s and was considered immature and unserious by other women for choosing not to have children. The comment section was filled with women's own experiences where their colleagues and friends treated them differently for not having children by choice.

A user wrote, "A mother (her kids are already old adults) straight to me in my face that "it isn't normal for a woman to not want kids, you're weird". Mind you she was my coworker and just bumped in in a private conversation I was having with other of my coworkers which I was closer to. I just said in a very lazy tone "yeah, I'm an alien" and laugh at her while she looked down on me, so yeah, if you're a child-free woman and you're getting the jealous vibes from a mom, it's a real thing."

Another one wrote, "Yup, it's like they think you're somehow selfish or weird or, in the case that you just never met the right partner, that you're not assertive enough in finding a partner or not willing to compromise when it comes to men."

Some users explained the point of view of mothers and said that many women tend to make motherhood their whole personality and tend to forget that they have a life other than being a mother. Society often glorifies the sacrifices a mother makes for her children as an attempt to ignore the negligible contribution of men to raising children. They make her believe that her kids and husband are her whole life and that the man is allowed to have a personal, professional and family life separately.

It is a fact that raising children is a chore and mothers hardly have time to take care of their own needs because often the fathers don't contribute much to parenting. Such women tend to be envious of other women their age who choose not to have children or who did not comply with society's demands and rules. They miss having a personal life and hence, shame women for not doing so.

It is saddening to see that even educated women tend to shame other women over exercising their body rights. To a good extent, the conditioning that women get growing up is to be blamed for this. They are often told that motherhood is their identity and existence and when they see other women not following it, they either consider it wrong or are envious. They need to understand that as much as they need to have a personal life after having kids, they must let women make their own personal choices without judging them.