Jalandhar Woman In Live-In Found Dead: Why Are Live-In Murders So Common In India?

Shraddha Walker's murder was a shocker for everyone in India. She was brutally killed by the person whom she loved and decided to live together. The accused Aftab Ameen Poonawalla was arrested in the case but was he the only one that led to the murder or was society also involved in it? Can we also blame society and not just the relationship nature?

On March 28 in Jalandhar's Santokhpura, a 33-year-old woman named Mandeep was found dead at her home. Mandeep's sister tried to contact her for a few days but received no response. She visited her home and found it locked. A foul smell was coming from inside the house and the neighbours said that it was locked since Saturday. The police found Mandeep's body inside and suspected it to be a murder.

Reportedly, Mandeep was in a live-in relationship with a man named Vinod after she separated from her husband a few years back. She had an eight-year-old son but was living in Santokhpura with Vinod who too had a wife and two children living in Dhogri. Vinod is reportedly missing and the police are suspecting him to be the culprit. The neighbours complained of the two often fighting with each other lately.

Jalandhar Woman Live-In Death Case

It seems as if somehow, such criminal-minded people have found Aftab Poonawalla's deeds inspiring as there arose another case from Maharashtra's Thane where a man killed his live-in partner of several years. An incident from Mumbai was also reported where the man killed his live-in partner and kept her dead body in his box bed. There have been many such cases of live-in murders over a period of just a few months which is a major concern for us as a society.

No doubt, the accused men in all these cases have a sick mentality. They used their partners as just tools to satisfy their wants. Live-in relationships are not easy in India. To have one, women have to go to lengths, and most times it ends up separating from their parents. Women are left with no support rather than having only a live-in partner. Many times they can compel women to do anything owning to no family support. Live-in relationships are said to be an idea of understanding your partner without commitments and checking the compatibility for future commitments. It is not just about physical compatibility but also about ideas and lifestyle. However, society has a very different picture in mind, sex! They feel these relationships are only meant for having sex and nothing else. Even these cases are assuring society's mentality. But, let me tell you, society is also responsible for all the murders and trauma women go through in live-in relationships.

Women often go against their parents to be in a live-in relationship. While the family should be supporting their daughter to live her life her own way, they give in to what the narrow-minded society will think and often cut ties with their daughter. The daughter knows that her parents won't accept and has nowhere to go other than her partner. Hence, she has to deal with everything the man does in the name of love, even if it's abusive and ruthless. Men exploit society's point of view of live-in relationships and often threaten to defame them in front of everyone if they don't comply with their wants. They know they have nowhere to go and use this to their benefit.

The same society goes blind when it comes to men. While women are heavily criticised for being in a live-in relationship, men get away with it with hardly any attention to them. Nobody talks about their character, choices, chaal-chalan or future aspects and marriage they won't stop talking about the woman. The entire blame comes on the woman and even when she is in trouble, she can't approach people around her. In some cases, women try approaching the police but they too blame them for trusting such a man and going against their family. They tend to criticise their right to choose and end up shaming them more than helping. By the time they take action, their partner has already stuffed them into a fridge or packed them into a box bed.

We really need to rethink where we are going as a society. Men's obsession with sex nowadays, society's extremely judgemental approach, and the lethargic law system are equal culprits in live-in murders and it's time we address these perpetrators as well. Also, stop blaming women to chose a relationship, because it is not the relationship, it is the person. Be it marriage or live-in relationships, men are abusive accept it. Just because marriages are recognised, doesn't mean everything that goes under it is right.

Suggested reading: How Does Law Protect Women In Live-In Relationships?