Indian Matchmaking: Sima Aunty Doesn't Like Girls Who Know Their Mind

Aside from glossing over the arranged marriages in India, Sima Taparia is also promoting this orthodox yet popular practice globally with her show Indian Matchmaking. Arranged marriages advocate the practice of marrying within your caste. Thus, this reality show is reinforcing the orthodox notion that not all castes are created equal, and one should always marry within their caste. Aside from caste bias, arranged marriages have yet another distinguishing trait that is endorsed openly by Indian Matchmaking- patriarchy.

Sima Aunty's attitude throughout the show is what really annoys me as a young Indian woman. She seems to be hardwired to please men, while rolling her eyes at seemingly reasonable requirements of her women clients. In season 2, these double standards continue. When the "most eligible bachelor in the world" Akshay has trouble finding a match, Sima Aunty reasons, "there is some defect in the horoscope, and so he rejects every girl who comes to meet him." Meanwhile, when a woman named Sheetal is unsure about meeting Sima Aunty, she tells her that "she always hunts for a reason to locate someone who is not ideal."

In Indian Matchmaking women get the raw deal

Sima Aunty seems to have special laws for men and women in her matchmaking rulebook. If you're a fussy man she will reward you with a limited-edition wife and a participation trophy, but if you're a woman with certain expectations, she'll refer to you as tricky and urge you to tone down your expectations. Why is Sima Aunty so resentful towards confident and financially independent girls?

Poor results while seeking a match for a woman are often blamed on her inflexibility. Time and again she tells women that "you have to adjust" in order to "get results". According to her, "marriage comes first, then love." So are young women simply supposed to give up their quest for love and tie the knot with whoever Mummy, Daddy and Sima Aunty choose? Didn't we leave this approach behind in the last millennium?

Suggested Reading: Indian Matchmaking Makes Me Wish To Never Marry

There is another woman on this show who gets berated by Sima Aunty for her choices and opinions. A strong and independent woman, Aparna is completely intolerant of gibberish and will not condone anything she disagrees with. Sima's astrologer, however, translates her behaviour as stubborn, headstrong, unstable, and fickle-mindedness. So, in essence, a woman who knows precisely what she wants is seen as a threat to the unbalanced structure of Indian marriages. Throughout the show, you will notice and gasp at the matchmaker's attempts to tame Aparna, but you will also celebrate as she gives it back.

Indian Matchmaking promotes colorism, sexism, heteronormativity, classism, and even casteism. It sugarcoats some of the very problematic elements of the matchmaking business.

On behalf of numerous single and career-minded women in our society, Aparna brilliantly poses some valid questions such as why must women be flexible when it comes to marriage prospects? Why should women accept a groom exactly as he is while men expect women to transform into domesticated goddesses in a marriage?

At her core, Sima Aunty believes in the patriarchal notion that women are sheep groomed for marriage under the garb of "customary practices". To be an ideal bride, one must toss her soul and intellect out the gate. It romanticises arranged alliances in order to make for a wonderful show, but it refuses to acknowledge the harsh reality of Indian marriages.

The world needs to see that the sparkling idea of ">arranged marriages stands shakily on the ground of patriarchy, which is adamant on not letting women have a chance to construct equal marriages.

Views expressed are the author's own.