Being A Homemaker Is Not Easy. But Then Why Don't They Get Much Respect?

Check your table right now before going further in this article. Run your finger through its surface and see if it is laden with dust or not. If yes, then you need to get up and do some housework. And if no, then you must thank the person who cleaned it for you- be it yourself or someone else. There are millions of women in our society who ensure that when you run a finger across any surface in the house, it comes off clean. They do a lot more. Meals being served on the table, hot and spicy, clothes being washed and put out for drying, tiffins ready on time and the house clean as crystal- this is what sums up the life of a homemaker.

Homemakers selflessly devote their life and time to ensuring the well being of their loved ones. However, despite the hard work that this job requires, many people, including women themselves, undermine it. “You want to be a housewife? Why don’t you study and get a job?” is the common reply that many women receive from other women if they choose to be a homemaker. In fact, my mother too once said that she wants to educate me so that I don’t end up being a homemaker like her. She said this as if being a homemaker was some sort of degradation in a woman’s life. As if it meant that a woman did nothing in her life. But that, my dear readers, is just not true. I accept that education is important for every person, irrespective of gender. But housework is also an important life skill to learn if you want to be an independent person.

Indian homemakers- a struggle for respect

The biggest reason why homemaking is not considered a respectful job is the patriarchal idea that it is a woman’s duty to clean, cook and wash. It is something that they must do without seeking any gratitude, financial gains or validation. Moreover, the idea that homemakers are never paid to do their work also somehow gives less weightage to the effort they put in.

It requires a lot of skills to manage housework- keeping the food safe, dring the clothes during the rainy season, budget handling and whatnot, I wonder why these skills are not taught in the school curriculum.

Recently I have started living on my own. I do cleaning, washing and cooking all on my own and I can vouch that the time and effort these chores take amount for a full-time job. But I don’t regret it. I think managing housework and life together is a skill that everyone should know.

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Moreover, I also admit how much I miss my ">mother’s support who used to pamper me and not let any discomfort in terms of housework affect me. I can’t even imagine doing all the housework at my place and not being paid for it. I do it for myself right now and not others. Besides the workload is nowhere closer to the work that a homemaker does in a day. So just imagine the stress, workload and effort that being a homemaker requires. But at the end of the day, people around you will either trivialise your efforts or berate you for being "just a homemaker".

So if someone comes to me and says housewives or homemakers do nothing but sit at home, my only reply would be- live on your own and see.

The worst part is that it is often women themselves who look down upon homemakers. Perhaps having no financial independence and thus very little say in household matters due to it, makes them see it as demeaning. However, women need to remember that respect shouldn't be associated with work only if it brings you a paycheck. We need to embrace the power of choice and we also need to acknowledge the labour that goes into being a homemaker.

So dear women, don't tell your daughter that being a homemaker is beneath her, instead see household chores as a life skill and ensure that both boys and girls perform them. This way, a boy will not burden his future partner with all the chores and a woman will not see them as mere duties they must perform due to their gender, despite them adding no value to their standing in society of the family. Let us learn to appreciate the labour and effort that goes into performing these chores.

The views expressed are the author's own.