Like Leonardo DiCaprio makes money rain on the streets in The Wolf of Wall Street, Indians throw cash on big fat weddings. So much that it almost leaves one baffled about money growing on trees. Perhaps for some, they do.
Ever since women are indoctrinated into the patriarchal idea of marriage being their one-stop destination in life (before, of course, the kids arrive), a lot of them begin dreaming of a grand wedding. If the marriage isn't decided per their volition, then maybe the celebrations can be?
Now it's not like women who do go in for a good splurge on the D-Day - the price tags of their lehengas heavier than the work on them - should be challenged. How to party is a personal choice. A birthright, I'd argue. What's life without a good carouse from time to time, after all?
But how many of these are conscious decisions really? Do we really want big fat weddings or have we just been made to believe we do? Have Sooraj Barjatya and Karan Johar fed us unhealthy ideas about weddings with the extravagance they have sold to a million women through their films?
Go for an elaborate scene on your big day if you want to. But there are several reasons to ditch it too. Here are some:
1. All The Big Fat Weddings Expenditure For What?
No wedding is complete today until the entire album of wedding photos makes it to social media, much to the bother of Facebook friends whose timelines are disrupted with a hundred identical snaps of the newlywed couple posing against opulent decor. Pics or it didn't happen. So how much of this lush wedding setup is for being captured on camera and how much is authentically offline?
2. Are The Newlyweds Even Having Fun?
The guests come, eat, give shagun, and leave. Kids scamper around, making noise and coming in the way of diligent waiters balancing a hundred plates on their trays. Parents and other family are busy holding the fort up, ensuring hospitality and a smooth-running show. What about the bride and groom?
Despite being the centre of the event, do they have a good time? Do they remember much of the wedding afterward, except how their cheeks ached from smiling for the cameras and long-lost aunties they don't remember? At an intimate ceremony, one can make memories with family up close that you'll remember for a lifetime.
3. I'll Take A Good Vacation Instead, Thanks
How about taking the bulk of your wedding expenditure and investing it in a good vacation, just the newlyweds? Why spend a bomb on a destination wedding when you can travel as a couple to a destination of your choosing for a quiet getaway, without an entire baraat of judgmental family in tow? Pairing this with a court marriage option is a combination you can't refuse.
4. Undue Pressure On Parents?
Where desi parents' noses are always in other people's business, ready to compete without challenge, imagine the pressure they would feel over their daughter's wedding when they find out neighbouring Mr Sharma has spent crores on his. But seriously, the load of matching upto society's expectations and status of what a good wedding is, is real.
Why not relieve families of that stress by putting your foot down for a nice, plain, affordable do?
5. A Million Bucks, A Million Judgments
Spend the entirety of your life's savings on a wedding. Go broke trying to leave no cost uncovered. Spread the choicest feasts from across cuisines. But be assured, guests in attendance will always find one or more things to grumble about. So best plan a wedding celebration that doesn't cater to the whims of whiny relatives but that marks your special day the way you would like to remember it.
Views expressed are the author's own.
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