If It Happens, The Abusers Should Be Prepared For An Outcry

It was expected. The moment Tanushree Dutta mustered the courage to speak out about the harassment she allegedly underwent at the hands of not just a senior actor, but an entire coterie that supported his amorous overtures, it was a given that packs of wolves with similar inclinations would come out in loud support of the alleged predator. We will now find stories spilling out about the perpetrator’s golden heart, his benevolence, his support to the cause of halting farmers’ suicides, his extremely down-to-earth persona, and his passion for his art. Small instances of his ‘kindness’, regular human behaviour actually, will now be magnified as great acts of philanthropy. But, no amount of whitewashing by his all-knowing supporters can conceal the Hyde-side of the matter.

The rah-rahing that follows such despicable misdemeanours is an age-old, cowardly, knee-jerk reaction. Back in the 80s, when an inebriated Ramrao Adik, then Maharashtra’s deputy chief minister, misbehaved with an air hostess, far from condemning his cheeky, shameful conduct, his supporters accorded him a red carpet welcome, complete with the bursting of crackers. What’s more, his hapless spouse, a victim of patriarchy herself, welcomed her marauder husband by garlanding him and performing an aarti, as if he were a hero returning after winning a meritorious battle. His other male supporters organised a 100-strong cheer squad and a brass band to boot. Sickening to the core, it was representative of the chest-thumping chauvinism that is employed to date, to drown out voices of dissent. Hadn’t Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav, while opposing capital punishment for rape, famously said, ‘ladke, ladke hain… galti ho jati hai (boys will be boys… they commit mistakes).’

Sickening to the core, it was representative of the chest-thumping chauvinism that is employed to date, to drown out voices of dissent.

The film industry has, for years, watched young actresses being abused by bratty men who are held up by their supporters as shining examples of altruism, as if their donations absolve them of every crime. And, just by being around for ages, and surviving because of the silence of the victims, the casting couch, the expectation of favours by some leading men, the perverted behaviour of other factions of the film industry, have become the normal. Young aspirants are expected to not only know the code of conduct but to abide by it, keep their lips sealed or be ready to have their careers jeopardised. Take it or leave it, but don’t talk about it. Or else . . .  What is a lone young aspirant to do pitted against those who have money, fame, and members of the sexist clan, and law keepers and the powers that be backing them? Browbeaten, some submit, others suffer silently, and yet others choose to withdraw from the scene.

Young aspirants are expected to not only know the code of conduct but to abide by it, keep their lips sealed or be ready to have their careers jeopardised.

The most frequently asked question when the victim speaks out is, ‘Why did the victim remain silent for so long?’ Is this ‘late’ protest a cause for complaint or concern? That it should take so long for a victim to plead for redress speaks volumes about the prevalent atmosphere. Every time a woman complains about sexual abuse, she is asked:  ‘What were you wearing then?’ ‘What were you doing there at that time of the night?’ ‘What were you thinking when you agreed to meet him?’ ‘Were you drinking?’ ‘Did you not know better?’ This makes her question her own credentials, assess the propriety of her perfectly decent behaviour, doubt the validity of her misgivings, worry about the assassination of her character that follows, buckle under the imminent ignominy of public scrutiny, and wilt under the possibility of being branded a loose, morally depraved vixen, who ‘invited’ the abuse. This, only by virtue of belonging to a certain gender.

So, instead of being treated compassionately as a victim, she is reduced to a wreck trying to defend her reputation. Add to that the threats from the abusers, that probably include harm to her life and family, and the propaganda by their allies designed to raise suspicions about her character and intentions, and you have a perfect scenario for the victim’s quiet retreat. What’s more, every other day, the newspapers carry reports of victims being turned away by the police who refuse to file an FIR, especially against the well-heeled. How many of those who question the victim’s long silence have the gumption to drop everything, stand by her side, express solidarity with her and fight her battle? If we can’t do that, let’s stop casting aspersions on the victims, and laud their guts to make amends, to blaze a bold trail, and to make a genuine attempt to focus attention on the injustice.

How many of those who question the victim’s long silence have the gumption to drop everything, stand by her side, express solidarity with her and fight her battle?

Imagine if the protest against the practices of Sati or dowry or domestic violence or rape or incest or other heinous crimes against women had never happened, just because it took some time for the victims to come to terms with their plight, to heal enough to be able to stand up for themselves, and to feel bolstered by a sensitive community. No strides would ever have been made to eliminate those crimes, punish the culprits or frame and implement more effective laws. The passage of time does not diminish the gravity of the crime. If at all, it does great disservice to the victim, as by being forced to keep mum, justice is delayed or almost denied to her. Not to speak of the untold trauma that accompanies the silence. This only magnifies the pressing need for society to create a climate of empathy and support, where women can speak out without fear, as soon as they are ready.

Apparently, in Tanushree’s case, the alleged abuser had referred to her as ‘meri beti’. Whether it is a beti, a bahu, a biwi, a behen, a bhabhi or a maa, I think it would do well for everyone to remember that no one has the right to touch her without her consent or violate her dignity. If it happens, the abusers should be prepared for an outcry. It may be immediate or 10 years later. Whenever the victim feels that the time is right. In every such case, I insist, that it is better late than never.

Archana Pai Kulkarni is a Journalist, Editor, Creative Writer and Blogger. Views expressed are the author’s own.