Gujarat Bride Dies, Groom Marries Her Younger Sister: Why Are Daughters Treated As Objects?

It is confusing what to call it. Insensitivity, Cold-heartedness, disappointment, or helplessness. A woman on her big day dies of a heart attack, and the family and relatives get busy 'fixing' the unprecedented event. The only way out of the tragic circumstances was to get the younger daughter married to the groom chosen for the elder daughter. Isn't that disgusting? The first feeling I could ever think of. 

The incident occurred in Gujarat’s Bhavnagar, the bride identified as Hetal died of a heart attack in the middle of her wedding rituals at the marriage venue. Despite the family mourning the death of Hetal, relatives suggested the wedding celebrations continued and proposed a way out. The relatives advised the family to get the bride’s younger sister to marry the groom identified as Vishal. Everything was done just to set up an example in the community and not send the groom and his family empty-handed.

What is the use when one can't even mourn over a dead daughter to set an example? This is heartless! Hetal’s body was reportedly put in cold storage while her younger sister got married. Society again proved they couldn't be less insensitive in the name of the community, culture, and so-called maan-maryada. And family like any other Indian family instead of following their heart, went on to suffice relatives and keep the groom's side happy. Why? for what? Just for being safe from mere moments of embarrassment.

The grief and loss are not easy to process, it makes me wonder what the situation might be like. How her parents agreed to such an inhumane act? I don't want to blame patriarchy because it undoubtedly exists and society is governed by it. But it is in the parents' hands to choose and scrap whatever society has to do. It is heartbreaking to see how parents focused so much on societal expectations and fell prey to their unreasonable suggestions.

Gujarat Bride Dies, Younger Daughter Married Instead

For a second let's say the groom was sent empty-handed, what could have happened at most- the wedding would have been called off. Isn't that a small sacrifice against the honour of the dead daughter? How a groom can accept such a suggestion? Was the deceased person a thing? Because that is how the entire tragic event has been treated. The dead daughter and younger daughter both were equally humiliated. The younger daughter too treated as an object, she was sacrificed to suffice a few souls. 

This is the case of forced marriage too. The woman had to agree to the family's wishes and accept the marriage she never opted for. Once again, the daughter was used as a scapegoat or rescue plan. What would be the current state of the woman? Marriage requires a certain mindset, matrimonial decisions are technically to be well-thought and not just spur-of-the-moment decisions. The woman was confiscated of her right to find a suitable match, and her agency in choosing a life partner was seized. Who is going to take the blame if her marriage doesn't work? Who will take responsibility when she is on verge of breaking down? One can find many instances, where younger daughters are sacrificed when something goes wrong with the elder daughter in arranged matrimonial. For instance, one of my friends married in place of her elder sister as she eloped before her wedding. Today, she has a child and is separated from her spouse. Who is responsible? Can anybody compensate her for everything that she has gone through? Being a single mother is that easy? That's whole of a different topic to discuss. 

The moral of this story is, why humiliate daughters, treat them like a piece of an object, and use them as proxies? Can we start respecting them as a human instead of sacrificing them in such insensitive deals? Isn't there a will to be considered? Can we stop buttering society and take care of the needs of our daughter, please? Daughters are human, and not objects of negotiations, Period!

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