7 Ridiculous Things Society Says To Girls Who Stay Out Late At Night

Girls out at night: Be it beaches, mountains or night streets, be Bollywood or real life, it is hard to see women walking freely in public spaces after evening.

While safety for women in India is a big concern, it doesn't get better when people just continue to build into that fear by reminding women that they 'need a man' to be protected, to roam the streets or be driven around. If we play into this fear, when will the world get safer for women, to be themselves and claim the streets just as freely as men?

We have some of the most ridiculous things society says to girls who like to spend their evenings and nights out.

What society says: You cannot take care of yourself. You should take a man with you.

There is a long history of so-called safety tips and advice aimed specifically towards women. Women are constantly conditioned to see themselves as helpless, while men are portrayed as women's protectors, without the presence of whom, they are at risk of violence. Consequently, the “dangers” of nighttime call for a man’s heroism and protection.

This typically indicates that women do not go out alone at night in the fear of men as predators, but if they have to do so, they should take a man with them who will somehow act as her protector.

What society says: Nights are not for women.

Nights are coded by the patriarchal society to fit the interests and needs of men. Nighttime has been made accessible and beneficial to men, and women have been vehemently coerced to daylight space, particularly in their homes. If and when a woman tries to define her own space, she is victimised or criminalised.

Because it moulds — and narrows — the lives of women in so many little ways, this fear of violence is as profound as violence itself: We forgo an evening function because we don't want to be alone when we get home. We forgo an evening jog since it's a luxury that only guys have. We forgo a statement, an outfit, or a friendship as it may indicate an invitation we do not want to send.

What society says: You can go out with your husband after you’re married

It is a common belief that a woman’s adult life begins after she gets married. Bigoted in and of itself, this belief presses on the mindset that women on their own cannot experience events when they are single.  We live in a world where women are taught to be leery of strange men as well as intimate partners, but they must also wait for the right man who will enable and allow them to do the things they always wanted to.

What society says: Streets are deserted, and unsafe for you.

While taking calm walks at night seem therapeutic, many women have to abstain. Calm, serene, deserted streets are pronounced as threats to women. This line of thought does not hold much gumption because horrifying public crimes can, and do, occur even in well-lit buses and crowded areas. As per society’s rules, women should not go alone anywhere, at any time while men are free to frolic around in their sartorial luxury.

What society says: If you go out at night you are simply asking for trouble.

We often consider cities and streets to be dangers to our health, the true danger — a society that teaches us that women's bodies are for consumption, even when those women are our friends, wives, and girlfriends — is far more subtle and serious. Victim blaming is very prevalent in a patriarchal society such as ours where it is thought that a woman roaming alone at night is simply “asking for trouble.”

What society says: Good girls do not stay out late at night.

Women have been subjected to rigid rules and restrictions on what to wear, where to go, when to go, and even how to go from time immemorial. Messages such as, "Don't go alone," ‘Don't wear this,' ‘Don't go here,' have two effects: one, they limit women's liberties in the world, and two, they lay the blame for sexual violence and its prevention on potential victims rather than perpetrators.

The myth of the “good girl” is a way families try to encapsulate and restrict women to outdated rules and patterns of behaviours. Raising girls in the fear of being judged for expressing their individuality is a toxic trait that holds them back from achieving their true dreams.

What society says: It is difficult for men to control themselves at night

We live in a world where the perpetrators have to follow fewer rules as compared to the victims. The narrative that states “she got raped” instead of “he raped her” is highly problematic. The policing – both formal and informal – of women’s bodies and rights is so normalised that many people often do not bat an eyelid. Consequently, society's solution is to let men have their fun and force women to sacrifice their desires and needs at the expense of their wellbeing.

&t=220s