Gaslighting Terms You Are Probably Guilty Of Using

When someone says the word 'abuse', what strikes your mind? Probably hitting, fighting, and other types of physical abuse. What goes unnoticed here is the 'mental abuse'. Gaslighting is a kind of manipulation or psychological abuse which makes people question their own reality or sanity.

The gaslighters try to portray themselves as victims and the real victims are made to doubt their actions or perceptions. Gaslighting makes you doubt what you know is true. There are certain gaslighting terms you probably end up using intentionally or unintentionally and should stop using right away.

Here are some of the gaslighting terms you are probably guilty of using-

'You Can't Take A Joke'

This is a common gaslighting term abusers tend to use to get away with the harm they cause to the victim. They try to camouflage derogatory or offensive comments and take refugee in 'It's just a joke, learn taking one'. They try to shift the blame onto the victim and make the victim wonder that maybe they are overreacting. It's important to lay your boundaries down while cracking jokes in a way that your joke is not offensive or hurtful to someone else. Also, comments/statements belittling someone's struggles, triggering someone's trauma, or defending marginalisation or oppression are not really jokes. So don't throw 'You can't take a joke on someone reacting to your problematic statements.

'You're Too Sensitive'

'You're too sensitive is a classic gaslighter used by abusers to override victims' certainty about the severity of the abuse they've experienced. They try to convince the victims that they are probably reacting too much.  When someone objects to sexist, homophobic, or racist stereotypes they are told that they are being over-sensitive.

Emotional sensitivity varies from one person to another and no one deserves to feel that their emotions don't matter or are not in the right volumes. Victims start believing they are paranoid and hyper-sensitive.

'You're Imagining Things'

The victims are made to believe that what they believe is not true and it's something they are imagining. It tends to cause doubt in the victim's thoughts. It's a direct attack on their memories and perceptions. Many victims even start questioning their sanity and lose trust in themselves. The victims start feeling that something is psychologically wrong with them.

The abuser tries to convince the victim that what they remember is not true and it's their fault imagining something that never happened.

'That Was In The Past, Just Let It Go'

This is a common phrase used by gaslighters to try to cover their wrongdoings in past. The victims are made to believe that they are clinging onto something unreasonable and unnecessary. They tell you to forget about it just to avoid confrontation and accountability. This is mostly used to run from accountability.

The victim starts believing that they are ruining the present hanging on to the past. They start believing that still feeling upset about whatever happened in the past is irrelevant and vague.

'You Need Help'

The abusers gaslight victims into thinking that they are insane and therefore need help. The victims start believing that they are the main root of the problem. Gaslighters try to manipulate victims making them think that they need help or they are not mentally well. They become the unwanted doctors no one asked for.

Victims start thinking that something is wrong with them and they start self-doubting. This is usually done to distract the victim from their problematic behaviour.

People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and are unable to trust themselves. People tend to use the subtlest phrases to gaslight. Victims sometimes don't even realise they are being gaslighted. These gaslighting phrases are so deeply embedded in our lives that sometimes we don't realise how problematic they are and what effect they'll have on the victim. If you tend to use any of these phrases just give it a thought!

Suggested Reading: Today I Learnt: Gaslighting Of Women Undermines Their Capability And Credibility