Gabrielle Union Reveals She Was 'Afraid of Being a Bad Mom'

The pressure of being a good mother is too much on women. There are certain habits and sets of rules that are considered ideal for mothers and any diversion from them is considered wrong. Just like how it happened with American actor Gabrielle Union with her own children.

Bring It On star Gabrielle Union got married in 2014 to Dwyane Wade, a former NBA player who already had two daughters, then 12-year-old Zaire and then 7-year-old Zaya, with Siohvaughn Funches, his ex-wife. The couple welcomed a daughter Kaavia in 2018 through a surrogate and the kids are all grown up now. Union recently opened up about her motherhood journey and said that she was scared with the thought of being a bad mother to Kaavia because of her lack of knowledge.

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Gabrielle Union On Motherhood

Gabrielle Union reportedly said that she was scared of not knowing enough to raise her daughter right. She admitted that she lacked knowledge about a lot of things and thought that it would make her a bad mother. She feared that she would not be like her mother who was great at raising her. However, as she spent more time with her daughters, she got more confidence and realised that there is no bad or good mother, everyone has their own way of raising kids and doing things that are right according to them and that is fine.

We often see mothers being burdened to be an ideal example for their kids. They are told to be completely devoted to their kids, understand all their needs and thoughts, and raise them right. These notions often leave them scrutinising each one of their action and being skeptical about their methods. Different women raise different children in different circumstances but society wants them to raise the children according to its norms which is not right.

On embracing motherhood, women are often told that they have to entirely give up their personal life now that they have the responsibility of the child. Mothers have to give up their personal desires, me time, and make sure that their child is getting the most out of their time. They often tell them that a mother who thinks about herself as well doesn't neglect her own comfort and wants to focus on work along with her kids can never be a good mother.

The dilemma of not being present in her kid's life also troubled Gabrielle Union but instead of worrying about being a good mother, she decided to do things her way. She said she raised free Black girls, instilled the ideas that she believes in, no matter how bold, into them and spent as much time as she could with them while focusing on her career as well. She also took help through therapy when she felt like her childhood trauma was being passed on to them or felt as if she was teaching them something wrong.

That's what motherhood is about, it is not just about sacrificing your entire life and raising your kids as society says. It is about being present for your child while being present for yourself too because you have to help yourself before you help them, it is about doing things that you feel comfortable in. If you can't spend 24 hours with your child, you are not a bad mother, if you are constantly worried about your child, you are not a skeptical mother.

If the mother feels stuck or scared about anything, she should not be afraid to seek therapy or help and people should not shame her for it. Remember, it is always better to have a happy mother than a good mother.