Everything About Female Sexuality is Hushed Says Aaditi Pohankar; What Are We Afraid Of?

Since the second season of the web show She came out, the lead actor Aaditi Pohankar has been grabbing the headlines. Whether it's for her performance or her interviews in which she addresses every question with calculated yet with raw honesty. The actor who has also appeared in the series Aashram and the film Love, Sex Aur Dhokha during an interview highlighted how everything around female sexuality is hushed.

While speaking about her show she doesn't shy away from exploring female sexuality. Have you wondered why it make people uncomfortable when women openly speak about their desires? Why are we letting the sexist attitude get to us in the 21st Century? Why can't we accept that women, much like men, are humans who have a desire for sex and pleasure?

The actor says, "The show has always been more about a woman expressing or realising her power, more than sexual awakening. I feel, when you’re not scared of being a woman, that’s true empowerment . Till now, we have been suppressing our own sexuality, our own being as women. Everything’s very hush when it comes to female sexuality. However, the same is not the case for men."

The actor further elaborated on how people view male and female sexuality are dictated by sexism that society has normalised for far too long. Attitudes that people bear toward female sexuality border on dismissal and have always been looked down upon.

Review She Season 2

Women's bodies in our nation are heavily policed and we are viewed as objects of desire which even though contested, the society refuses to acknowledge. Women in India are from very early on taught how any expression--sexual or otherwise--is wrong and selfish. The idea of women openly communicating about their desires clashes with their deeply embedded notions that women only exist to service and not demand.

The idea of suppressing women's sexuality is like a yarn that lets the patriarchal weaving of the society stay intact and the society that thinks unlearning patriarchal ideas is a Herculean task will thus ensure it remains a taboo and continue feeding chauvinists who will perpetuate the idea that unless for male consumption, female sexuality is sinful and immoral.

And if someone dares to speak about it, they better be ready to be scrutinised or "slut-shamed" by everyone. Even with Indian cinema exploring sexuality, there's always an element of the male gaze that stirs in usually and if a scene is devoid of it, the women actors and the filmmakers become the subject of brutal trolling. In films like Lipstick Under My Burkha and Veere Di Wedding, there were scenes which displayed women owning their sexuality and they were met with backlash.

Why don't we understand that every person, irrespective of gender and sexual orientation has the right to wear their sexuality on their sleeve and there should be no judgment for the same? Why do we wield morality only as per convenience and bias?

A woman who owns her sexuality refuses to be a thread upholding patriarchy. She is confident and aware of her self-worth to suppress her sexuality to inflate someone else's ego and does not see it as a means for validation. She feels empowered when she owns her sexuality.

It is important for society to understand that every person has the right to explore and experiment with their sexuality and that it's an individual's choice. Having carnal desire does not determine whether one is moral or immoral. Women too have sexual desires and it is both common and natural. Women should not be shamed for embracing their sexuality.

The views expressed are the author's own

Suggested Reading: Why Do Women Still Get Judged So Harshly For Having Casual Sex?